Still More Disney Movie-Watching

It looks like I may actually finish watching all the hand drawn animated Disney movies by the time The Princess and the Frog opens on Friday. Amazing.

THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME

Film: Disney goes dark. Afraid to break out of their formula, they squeezed Victor Hug’s novel uneasily into the formula. It was still a success, but less so than the previous few films.

Plot: Read The Hunchback of Notre Dame? It’s like that, but with less rape and murder.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Falls from very high. Not the Hunchback’s fault!

Nature of Songs: Dark. Heavily dramatic Broadway. Some are really, really dark. And one (the Gargoyle’s song) is painfully out of place with its comic relief.

My Favorite Moment: The ominous opening number. It promises something that the rest f the movie is unable to deliver. Bells over darkness. Very dramatic and dark. It rolls through a large amount of backstory quickly, in a riveting fashion. I especially love that shot where Clopin becomes the Archdeacon with a cut masked by a bolt of lightning. Intense.

Also awesome: “Hellfire.” Another dark musical sequence. The cut from the bells to the thurible. The figure dancing in the flames. The cloaked figures rising out of the floor. “She will be mine, or she will burn.”

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The gargoyles are too manic. But that moment when they are frozen in Frolo’s presence is powerful.

But the big winner is “Achilles, heal!”

Also, the ending. When it turns out Esmerelda’s not dead. The faux happy ending. And when Quasimodo puts Phebus’ and Esmerelda’s hands together – that’s a moment reminiscent of Gurgi at the end of The Black Cauldron.

Political Agenda: Even ugly people can be good. But for crying out loud, they don’t deserve to be in a relationship. Don’t lock your children in the attic! That’s mean!

Competition at the time: Beavis and Butt-Head Do America, Space Jam.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A sequel. A SEQUEL!

Verdict: While this movie is considerably darker than anything Disney had done in a decade, considering the source material, it is not dark enough. How can they possibly adapt Victor Hugo’s novel into a cartoon for kids? They can’t. It IS dark for a kids movie, though. For instance, that creepy moment as Frollo sniffs Esmerelda’s hair. The Latin choir. A thrilling final battle. Gothic set pieces. It’s all slightly more bad ass than previous Disney movies.

They do a good job of making Quasimodo look both hideous and cute. And for once, the gargoyles actually talk to Quasimodo. The scene when Quasimodo and Frollo are running through the alphabet is a wonderful bit of dark humor. The movie doesn’t shy away from emotionally devastating scenes – like the moment when Quasimodo sees Esmerelda and Phoebus kiss.

On its own terms, The Hunchback of Notre Dame is an excellent movie. Visually, it’s stunning. It has real emotional heft and serious stakes. The action builds. The relationships are well formed. It really is a terrific bit of movie-making. It’s just so hard to separate it from its source material.

A note: Up to this point, there have been a lot of orphaned Disney heroes and heroines. Also a lot of single parents. But the fates of these missing parents ha not been addressed very much. Only in Cinderella so far. Here, we see Quasimodo’s mother get murdered. For many of the remaining Disney movies, the deaths of the parents are addressed head on.

HERCULES

Film: So all that realism that Disney had been striving for with its style for so long, someone sat back and said “Fuck it.” After the darkness of Hunchback, Disney swayed drastically in the other direction and made this out and out comedy.

Plot: Jesus escapes from the planet Krypton. He goes on a great journey becomes a movie star!

Nature of Villain’s Death: The Villain is immortal. And yet, he gets pulled into some drain of eternal circling death. Does that count as dead?

Nature of Songs: Gospel-inspired and exposition-heavy. The big Oscar song was an Oprah ballad about following your heart.

My Favorite Moment: James Woods. His voice work as the Villain Hades is excellent. Every scene with him is gold.

There’s one throw-away moment that typical of the humor in this thing. One of Hades’ henchmen tries to brush off the idea that Hercules is still alive. He offers up, “Remember a few years ago, when all the boys were named Jason. And all the girls were Brittany.”

Some sly adult humor. As Hercules and Meg end their date, Hercules remarks, “That play. That Oedipus thing. I thought I had problems.”

For some reason, I like the moment when the monster screams, “Zeus!” as it lumbers towards Olypmus.

And my most favorite moment in the movie . . . it’s tiny, but I love it. Hercules has no powers. He’s been beaten mercilessly. Danny Devito reminds him of his dreams. Hercules responds “Dreams are for rookies” as he glares at Meg with bruised eyes. That tiny moment is awesome and totally reminds me of a consuming resentment and cynicism all aimed at a single person who has betrayed you. To get a wee bit personal, I completely recognize a moment in my own life in that tiny moment.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Dany DeVito’s atonal song “One Last Hope”. Actually, everything with Danny Devito is rough.

Also, Meg’s retarded line near the end: “People always do crazy things . . when they’re in love.” Yuck! To quote a few Disney movies of the seventies, “sissy stuff.”

Political Agenda: This movie seems more apolitical than the others, but if it is about anything, it’s religion. Granted, there aren’t a lot of people who take Zeus and his gang seriously these days, but there are many who take the afterlife seriously.

So, taking for granted that Mount Olympus and Hades are stand-ins for Heaven and Hell, there are many ways to interpret the action of the movie. For myself, I find it significant that Hercules goes to hell and back and changes the rules. It’s all supposed to be set in stone. Things are a certain way. This is the way of the Gods. But Hercules won’t have it.

And THEN, he rejects Heaven for Earth. His Heavenly reward. Regardless of his initial motives, he ultimately does the right thing - not for a divine reward, but because he knows it’s the right thing to do.

Competition at the time: Anastasia, A Goofy Movie!

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A “midquel” series with a “miquel” movie. So a midquel to a midquel. Reading the wikipedia entry gave me a headache.

Verdict: The formula was in full effect. Every beat of this movie is overly familiar. Awkward kid goes on a journey and finds his place in the world. But this movie is so unabashedly a quest for glory and fame – I kind of like that. It doesn’t pretend to be about something wholesome and proper (like love – blech).

I like how the monsters are animated. The way they lumber and flail.

There is plenty here that reminds me of previous Disney movies. There are a lot of similarities to The Little Mermaid. Particularly in the two powerful forces using the child to fight for the fate of the planet. The three fates feel like anti-Sleeping Beauty fairies. And there is a literal Deus ex Machina in Hercules’ becoming immortal at the very last moment. Despite this, I like the ridiculously over-the-top final moments, as a constellation appears in the sky depicting Hercules.

But much is new and different. The tone is set when the sassy chorus cuts off Charlton Heston’s austere narration. Meg is a much darker, less pure, more complex female lead than we had before. “Thanks for everything Herc. It’s been a real slice.”

There are numerous plot holes. Why did none of the gods contact Hercules in all this time? And let him know what needed to be done? But to ask these questions is useless. The movie is about attitude. It is truly fun. It outdoes Aladdin in its anachronistic references. I think I like this movie. There aren’t any big moments that pull me in, but in the end, I still enjoyed myself. Disney began to grow bolder and more irreverent – despite clinging tightly to the story formula.

MULAN

Film: More of Disney’s politically correct formula movies. Arabs, Native Americans, now Asians. What’s next? Blacks?

Plot: Just One of the Guys redux.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Blown up by firecrackers. Deliberately!

Nature of Songs: Sparse, with a tinge of the orient. All of them reinforcing gender roles for both men and women.

My Favorite Moment: That shot of the Huns coming over the snow-covered mountain is incredible. I’m going with that scene.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Almost all the songs are cringe-worthy. So dogmatic in their commitment to women being women and men being men. I know that’s the point. After all, everyone is going to learn a little something, but still . . . jeesh.

I also really hate the “Your worst nightmare.” reference. Which is filtered somehow through Batman from Rambo. Odd.

I hate the moment at the end when a nation bows before Mulan as the music swells. But that pails next to the awful dance party at the end. Make it stop!

Political Agenda: It’s more up front and center than usual. To challenges women’s role in society. But in doing so, it becomes very pro-war. One man can make a difference between victory and defense. “Men will gladly go to war for you.” “Sign me up for the next war!”

War is a place to find glory. To become famous. And it’s all so sanitzed in this movie. When they come upon a destroyed village, there’s plenty of destroyed architecture, but there’s no dead bodies.

Competition at the time: Antz, A Bug’s Life.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A sequel.

Verdict: Aside from glorifying war shamelessly, this movie is riddled with plot holes that bugged. Why give a fake name to the officer? Isn’t she there to take her father’s place? To bring glory to his name? What am I missing?

Thanks to all the extreme masculinization of everything, the cross-dressing pay off at the end (the inversion of the “Be a Man” theme) is kind of awesome. Even if it wasn’t really the best way to proceed.

But really, the biggest problem with the movie is the love story. It should be gayer.

TARZAN

Film: Disney continues their search for classic stories to rape.

Plot: There’s a nut in the woods. More nuts show up on a boat. There’s some sexual tension. Gorillas beat their chest. There are some family issues. People learn some values.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Falls through vines and hangs himself. The shot is awesome. The machete plunges into the ground. Lighting throws the shadow of his hanging corpse (off screen) on a tree. It’s very dramatic and awesome.

Nature of Songs: Phil Collins songs about hearts and love and family and crap. Lots of banging away at a xylophone. All played over montages. MONTAGE!

My Favorite Moment: Tarzan, dressed in a suite, exits the tree house – causing his gorilla mother to cry. That was kind of sad.

I also really like when Tarzan imitates the sound of a gun during fight at end. It disorienting. But clever.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Every time Phil Collins opens his mouth.

Political Agenda: Even those who are different are family. Blah blah blah.

Patriarchal values are challenged. But only slightly. It is Kerchak (the daddy gorilla) who learns the meaning of family. Apparently Tarzan was on top of this all along.

Competition at the time: The Iron Giant, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A series, a midquel movie for the series, and a sequel. And a Broadway play. They mined this one pretty dry.

Verdict: Mostly, it passable as entertainment, but never very engaging. The dramatic opening is completely undercut by a Phil Collins song. And the entire rest of the movie follows this pattern. When the apes first talk, it’s disconcerting. Especially since they had been grunting and making ape sounds previously.

Looking at Tarzan makes me feel fat. Body image issues.

In many ways, it is the opposite of The Jungle Book. Tarzan has a curiosity about man that the animals don’t foster, yet in the end, he still chooses to stay with the family that raised him. It is Jane and her father that give up civilization to be with him.

At one point, Jane’s father supposes that Tarzan is the missing link. Um, excuse me?

Things come together in the final act nicely, but the depiction of the gorillas is impossible to endure. Rosie O’Donnell’s aggressive voice work. Finding an uneasy middle ground between speaking perfect English and grunting. This movie felt like Disney was operating on automatic.

FANTASIA 2000

Film: According to Steve Martin, Walt Disney originally imagined Fantasia as an ever-evolving film. It would be constantly re-released with new parts inserted next to classic sequences. It only took sixty years, but they finally got around to fulfilling that dream – in a half-assed fashion.

Plot: Musicians play music. Shit happens.

Nature of Villain’s Death: N/A

Nature of Songs: Classical music, and some more modern classical music.

My Favorite Moment: The “Rhapsody in Blue” section. It’s got an engaging story and stylish animation. It’s all about strangers and loneliness in Manhattan.

Also the final segment is beautiful as well. The moment when the fire demon awakes is one of the best fusions of music and image in the movie.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The introductions between each segment. Steve Martin, Penn and Teller, Smokey Robinson, Bette Midler, James Earl Jones, and Angela Lansbury, who is the only one that doesn’t embarrass herself.

Political Agenda: The “Pomp and Circumstance” segment depicts the story of Noah’s Ark. Is this reaction to the “Rites of Spring” section of the first Fantasia? Rather than a story that would surely raise a few Christian eyebrows, Disney goes for a story of Christian mythology. The joke depicting dragons and unicorns and griffins laughing can be interpreted as either a nod to the absurdity of the story, or a reinforcement of the purpose of the story.

Competition at the time: Dinosaur.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: There have been no new Fantasia movies.

Verdict: The whole thing feels pretty slight – which is only emphasized by the short running length of the movie. The animation of “The Steadfast Soldier” is great – perhaps the most beautiful in a movie that looks great all the way through. Despite this, the movie lacks any heft. “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” is repeated in the spirit of the original plan for Fantasia. Instead it illustrates how weak the modern stuff is.

There is no thematic structure tying it together like with the first. Almost all the sequences in the original followed a similar pattern of chaos and order. All these segments are on an even keel. There’s little drama or emotion or action. It looks nice, but it is completely negligible.

DINOSAUR

Film: My intention was to watch all the hand drawn animated Disney movies before their newest came out. I had forgotten that this particular movie is actually CGIed. Computer generated dinosaurs against (supposedly) real backgrounds. Originally, the plan was that the dinosaurs would not have ridiculous cartoony voices. Somewhere along the way, that plan got scrapped.

Disclamer: I watched part of this with the sound effects-only track – essentially creating the no dialogue or score environment originally planned. Half way through I switched over to the full soundtrack cause I got tired of watching dinosaurs move their mouths and remain silent. It was weird.

Plot: There’s these dinosaurs. An asteroid hits the planet. Shit goes down, but the dinosaurs go on a long hike and everything is fine and life goes on and the dinosaurs live forever and ever and ever.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Falls off a cliff.

Nature of Songs: The third animated Disney feature to go sans a single song.

My Favorite Moment: The opening five minutes (which was used as an extended trailer) is pretty cool. But the coolest part is the destruction of the world by Meteor. Technically, it’s not the whole world, but it’s enough of the world to look really cool. A ball of fire spilling across the ocean – consuming an island in the middle of the night. Awesome.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: When the monkeys first begin to speak. Ew.

Political Agenda: First off, this movie is full of dinosaurs. These days, that’s practically a political agenda in itself. And then a meteor strikes the Earth. A meteor?! Dinosaurs? What is this, science class? But beyond that, this movie is SOCIALIST. Socialist, socialist, socialist.

As the herd (made up of various types of dinosaurs) makes it way to a promised land, there is a lot of debate about how to handle the slower and older dinosaurs. Aladar insists on helping them and allowing them to catch up. The lead dinosaurs balk at the idea of letting the weak set the pace. If a predator catches you, you’re on your own. It is a little funny to be subverting the “survival of the fittest” with dinosaurs. The leader takes the water from the “weak” that discovered it and found it. But Aladar, our hero, stands up for the old and weaker dinosaurs. Eventually, he suggests they stand together against a predator. Socialist indeed. As he challenges the predator, he literally starts out as one voice, and is soon joined by everyone. Dinosaurs, unite!

In the end, the dinosaurs find the promised land. There is marriage and babies. Life goes on and the dinosaurs never died out. WHAT?!

As with Tarzan, there seems to be a pro-adoption agenda.

Competition at the time: The Emperor’s New Groove.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: They turned a pre-existing amusement park ride into a Dinosaur-themed amusement park ride.

Verdict: The backgrounds look realistic, but they don’t look believable. There’s a postcard quality to them. The movie does not look all that great nine years later. The CGI is obvious CGI. Watching this movie only reinforces how I felt going into this project: I like hand drawn traditional animation. While computer animation has continued to grow more and more impressive, there is something truly awe-inspiring about hand drawn cartoons.

THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE

Film: Disney, clearly tired of their own formula, did something a little more original and made an out and out comedy about a jerk. Apparently, it originally was planned to be a very different story. A more dramatic take on The Prince and the Pauper. After a very troubled pre-production, the writers arrived at this story: a comic buddy picture.

Plot: Jerk emperor gets turned into Llama by Eartha Kitt. John Goodman babysits. Wacky chases ensue. Repeat.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Doomed to live life as a cat in the Junior Woodchucks.

Nature of Songs: Only one song that’s a riff on Tom Jones cheesiness.

My Favorite Moment: The top two gags: When Spade sees a fly (“Help me!”) get killed by a spider. “Okay. That was the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

When Kitt threatens to raise her dress, Spade and Goodman rear back in horror. She reveals a dagger tied to her thigh and they breath a sigh of relief.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Goodman’s kids. They lose their teeth and have fun checking their height. Ugh. For a moment, there’s too much time spent with Goodman and his family, but it’s kind of saved when David Spade’s character freezes the action, circles himself on the screen and crosses out Goodman.

Political Agenda: The movie is against rich people being jerks. The emperor is rich. He’s inconsiderate. He wants to displace villagers for his fancy new mansion. But in the end, he learns that people are people, too.

Competition at the time: Chicken Run.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A sequel and a series.

Verdict: This movie is similar to both Hercules and Aladdin in its irreverent attitude and light touch, but it goes that extra step further and ditches all pretense of telling a classic story. This movie feels entirely modern – even down to its slightly fractured timeline, cut away gags, and cynical approach.

Unlike any Disney film before, the main character is a huge jerk. He is not some sweet fish out of water waiting to find his place in the world. He has dominated his lace in the world – and the places of all those around him. He is mocking and cruel and hilarious. Even his redeems himself, it is on his own terms.

The action isn’t just manic for manic’s sake. It is clever and energetic and sly. It has the pacing of a Looney Tunes cartoon – slowing down just enough for some nicely played character moments. A definite success. By aiming lower, Disney hit it out of the park. I don’t think anybody went to see it in theaters though.

THE DISNEY RENAISSANCE - Disney Viewing Part Four or something.

Before I get started, I would just like to bitch about the edits Disney makes in their DVDs. Here are a few:

Bambi: Originally, an animal disappears. Now, there's a cut where that happens.

The Little Mermaid: Originally, the Priest had knees that looked like a boner. Gone! Also, shirts change colors. Now they stay the same color.

Aladdin: They took out the infamously ambiguous lines “Just – take off your clothes.”

And then there's the diabolical insertion of musical numbers in more recent films. Why mess with history, Disney? Wear your mistakes proudly. Stop changing history!

THE LITTLE MERMAID

Film: The first fairy tale Disney had tackled in some time. It became a huge hit and, along with Who Framed Roger Rabbit the year before, revitalized Disney animation for a decade.

Plot: Headstrong chick sits around longing. She happens on some magic in a Faust-like deal. Awkward courting/stalking ensues. More magic / drugging. A fight for the fate of the Earth. The End.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Stabbed through the breast with a broken mast – driven by the handsome prince as he rescues the girl.

Nature of Songs: This is where Disney established the rules that would govern their animated musicals for the next ten years. The character’s longing song. The danceable status quo song. The villain song. And each song is a reaction to another song. They were written by Howard Ashman and Alan Menkin (who previously wrote Little Shop of Horrors). Fun. Character-centered. The songs even make room for some social commentary. Over the next seven years, Alan Menkin would win eight Academy Awards for his work in Disney animated movies.

My Favorite Moment: Sunset on the third day. The sun slips behind the horizon – denying Ariel her kiss, She reels back in pain and slumps to the floor – slipping through Eric’s arms. Then, in a bit of creepy camera work, the tracking shot of Ursula crawling towards the camera. A nice bit of pseudo-horror in those moments.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Buddy Hackett’s schtick in which he clumsily misnames various human tools. In general, I’m not crazy about the overly-excited exuberant voice-over work.

Also, the animals to the rescue thing makes an unwelcome return.

Political Agenda: A girl obsessed with a different culture. Back to rich people. The rebellious daughter of the rich, conservative father bucking the system. Her entire arc reminds me of George C. Scott’s speech in The Hospital – railing against the desires and curiosity of youth. Only this movie is in favor of such things. With one big exception. Ariel doesn’t fall for some Bohemian nobody. Despite longing for a man, Ariel is pro-active. It is a quest for independence. Tellingly, she goes to another woman to help her on her journey. That being said, the movie is over-the-top in how it equates a wedding and marriage with happiness.

Al$o part of the happy ending: money. Also Ursula notes when Ariel falls for a human, “Not just any human. A prince!” How fortuitous considering that she herself is a princess. More of the idle rich sitting around waiting for love to fill the void in their lives. For the record, I would love to spend the evening playing with my dog on a green overlooking the shore. Sound rough, Prince Eric.

Lastly, there seems to be a beef against contracts here.

Competition at the time: Akira, Kiki’s Delivery Service.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A sequel. A prequel-series. A prequel. A Broadway stage show. A spin-off series of shorts.

Verdict: Well, we’re back to chick flicks after decades away. Only this time, there’s a lot more drama. It’s hard not to admire the workman-like approach to the story. In fact, I can’t help but do just that. Leaps ahead in storytelling. A careful attention to character. Motives buried in the past. The script smartly employs a ticking clock for the audience (“Before the sun sets on the third day.” ) to rack up tension. The first act is dedicated to setting up relationships and longings that will pay off in the third act, which itself is a cleverly potted, and surpisingly complex climax. The ending is too pat and happy, but there are going to be very very few Disney movies you can’t say that about.

There’s an exciting chase near the beginning. Even the title sequence is kind of awesome. The score The way the fish kicks as it swims. The style of the animation is freer. Characters flail with less inhibition than before. Of course, this is due in part to much of the movie taking place under water. The villain is legitimately creepy with her psychic eels. And they address the love-at-first-sight syndrome head-on. “It’ll just – Bam! – hit me. Like lightning.”

I like that it’s on the side of the kids – but doesn’t shy away from showing that there are possible consequences to actions – like turning the entire ocean over to a megalomaniac. All in all, a huge success on all levels despite a dubious agenda.

Let’s take this moment to address the single parent syndrome. I think it’s simply a strategy to be as economical as possible regarding characters. Two parents would involve two characters with a similar, if not the same, point of view. Regardless, Disney would deal almost exclusively with single-parent heroes from here on out.

DUCKTALES: TREASURE OF THE LOST LAMP

This movie was the beginning of a direction for Disney. They employed an overseas studio to make “movie toons”. They had initially planned for many cheaply animated movies to come out of this studio. While it did not work out as they planned (this movie was a bomb), Disney has repeatedly used cheaper animation to make sequels and spin-offs to pre-existing canon movies. I will be forgoing all of those for the rest of this trip.

In regard to this movie in particular, a lot of it was recycled as plot elements for Aladdin two years later. When I originally saw Aladdin, there was quite a bit of déjà vu – thenks to this movie. Having just now rewatched a chunk of this movie on youtube, I think I kind of like this movie better.

THE RESCUERS DOWN UNDER

Film: Disney’s first sequel to one of their own movies. Disney would never spend this much effort on such an outing again.

On the other hand, this was the first Disney movie to use CAPS, which is a digital ink and paint system. And it looks fantastic.

Plot: Like the first Rescuers film, this movie is a one long rescue. A series of narrow escapes. A little boy is kidnapped. Rodents trek across gorgeously animated landscapes to find him.

Nature of Villain’s Death: He falls into a river full of crocodiles. To be more accurate, he is gently shoved into a river full of crocodiles, and eventually goes over the falls.

Nature of Songs: Only the second Disney animated film to go sans a single song.

My Favorite Moment: I like how the net surrounds the eagle and ties itself off. How the momentum is depicted. It’s just a single shot, but I like how gravity is depicted in this generation of Disney films.

In general, the entire movie looks beautiful.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Most of anything with John Candy. His characters is too much of a knock-off of previous characters.

The egg vaudeville act goes on for too long.

One of the most jarring moments is when the first animal talks to the little boy. You’re not expecting it, and it isn’t particularly awe-inspiring when it happens. Just jarring.

Political Agenda: Animal rights! Of course poaching is already illegal. In regards to the ending, it’s telling that the last few moments are dedicated to the young boy’s reunion with the eagle – and not his own mother.

Competition at the time: Jetsons: The Movie.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: They have ignored it and locked it away.

Verdict: I can’t emphasize enough how incredible this movie looks. Racking focus. Speeding through the field. Blurry snow seen falling outside the window. A background slowly goes out of focus as action in the foreground changes planes. Although overhead shots of the city look like a video game graphic. All in all, who cares about the plot when a movie looks this good.

Still, I love little touches like how the kid sleeps under a pile of clothes. And I like how Bianca’s and Bernard’s relationship is portrayed. There’s never any real danger that jack will steal her away. It’s an adult relationship and the audience is let in on a joke that mocks a stupid convention of creating a love triangle where there isn’t one. Sparse plotting. A good pace. I even like how the movie portrays Frank, a mentally off lizard. I’m surprised at how much I like this movie. It’s inoffensiveness has won me over.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Film: Disney learned a lot from the success of The Little Mermaid, and with this movie, they began returning to the well over and over until it was dry. As of this moment, Beauty and the Beast is the only animated film to ever receive an Oscar nomination for Best Picture.

Plot: Book smart, but not street smart, chick wanders into forest to save father from abusive rich asshole. She becomes his love slave. Creepy rich guy spies on the girl with fancy surveillance equipment. Eventually, as women are apt to do, she falls in love with her abusive boy friend. He decides not to bite her and instead, sparkles in the sunlight.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Loses his balance and falls.

Nature of Songs: Very Broadway-like. Character-based. Plus the love theme. More from Ashman and Menkin, who seriously know what they’re doing.

My Favorite Moment: There are a few. The inspired opening scene with the stained glass windows. A beautiful bit of exposition that works so much better than the usual opening book.

During “The Mob Song”, there’s a moment as Belle is locked in the cellar. Chip glances around and sees Belle’s father’s wood-chopping invention. The camera rushes up to the axe as thunder rolls and lightning catches the blade. It’s very cool. I get a little chill from it.

Also, during the climactic fight, as Gaston finds the Beast. The Beast has given up. He’s letting Gaston beat the shit out of him. Beast hears Belle’s voice. Sees her. The camera stays with Gaston’s club as he brings it down on the Beast – only to be met with the Beast’s hand – stopping the club. Suddenly willing to fight for himself again.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The rushed introduction of Belle’s father, his success with his invention, and his taking off to the fair. He’s about to give up on his invention, but with one half-assed pep talk, it’s working! Good grief.

And then the ending. “Are they going to live happily ever after, Mother?” Bah! We get it. We don’t need the passive aggressive commentary from you, Chip!

Political Agenda: There is a slight feminist slant. But it’s clearly only there to give the female lead a little character. Like Ariel in The Little Mermaid, Belle is “head strong”, meaning she talks back a lot. So far, few of the characters in Disney movies have much depth. This particular strategy to creating characters is transparent instantly. Only she likes to read. DEPTH, see?! Despite this, she’s really superficial. She only likes the prince once he’s pretty. That seems important to her.

According to this movie, the only way to win a girl is to be polite and dress well and shit like that. Fuck that noise.

And then the movie decidedly takes the controversial stance against mob mentality. In particular, mob mentality against someone who’s different. Very brave.

Competition at the time: An American Tail: Fievel Goes West.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: Two sequels – including a Christmas movie. The commercial for which I had to sit through on the DVD. The commercial hailed it as a classic, which apparently applies to cash-ins that exploit the holiday season. A Broadway stage production. A live-action children’s series.

Verdict: There’s a lot to admire about this movie. Also a lot to hate. This sounds weird, but I don’t like much of the blocking early on. It’s not particularly inspired. Overly Broadway-like in some sections. And too rushed. The entire movie is in too big of a hurry. Opposite of The Little Mermaid in that the beginning is rushed while the ending is more deliberately paced. It’s well done and respectable, but not too ground-breaking.

There are a lot of continuity errors. People appear and vanish. Seasons change over the course of an evening. I know they’re mostly intentional, but they’re weird.

Stray Observation: The scene when Gaston buys off the asylum director is a direct homage to the scene when the director of Pleasure Island pays off Honest John in Pinocchio.

ALADDIN

Film: Disney was on a role. This movie out-grossed their previous success with Beauty and the Beast. Disney mined 1001 Nights for a few recognizable icons and went to fucking town.

Plot: A young “punk” falls for a spoiled rich brat, but gets arrested. Falls in with a homeless guy. Finds God. Gets rich. Beats the shit out of an old men. Wins the girl.

Nature of Villain’s Death: The villain does not die. He lives to fight again.

Nature of Songs: More Ashman and Menken, but with a splash of Tim Rice.

My Favorite Moment: “Prince Ali” Not much different from the other musical numbers, but there’s a slight bit of irony to the song.

I like the Sultan’s reaction to Jafar’s trying to hypnotize him, “But you’re so old.” I also like how the Sultan begins to bow before Jafar before Jasmine stops him. It’s a periphery gag, which is what makes it awesome.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The whole movie made me cringe. When Aladdin asks “all this for a loaf of bread?”, that’s a moment that emblematic of the kind of problem the whole movie has. Talking to himself to give exposition to the audience. The movie simply doesn’t trust the audience to keep up – despite being a very straightforward plot.

That part when Aladdin and Jasmine say “trapped” at the same time is too contrived to stomach.

Gilbert Gottfried’s somewhat dated response “Excellent judge . . . NOT!”

Jafar’s pun-tastic display of magic near the end.

Seriously, Robin Williams’ schtick is the best thing about this movie. That speaks volumes.

Political Agenda: “You’ve heard of the Golden Rule, haven’t you? Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.” While the movie takes stabs at the class struggle, in the end, it totally re-enforces the idea that being rich (and powerful!) is the same as being happy. No mention anywhere of responsibility. His dream is to be rich and have no more problems. That’s pretty much exactly what happens. And yet, it glamorizes being poor. Aladdin, the street urchent, is a “diamond in the rough.”

Chicks have to get married. “I want to make sure you’re taken care of.” This is never questioned in the movie. Even Jasmine bemoans about WHEN she gets married. Not IF.

Competition at the time: Ferngully: The Last Rainforest.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: Two sequels and a series. Plus some video games and shit.

Verdict: Like Beauty and the Beast, this movie is too rushed. Characters are always busy. They can’t relax. The voiceover is equally too busy. Particularly the voice of Aladdin who tries to make it natural, but instead makes it awkward. Scott Weinger’s voice work is too desperate to please.

More love at first sight. Bleh.

And then there’s the plethora of questions about the logic of the plot. Why exactly was Aladdin the only one worthy of entering the Cave of Wonders? What’s so damn special about him? Why would Aladdin be fooled by a “prisoner” who is apparently free to come and go as he pleases? Jafar comes up with a plan to marry Jasmine and suddenly a law exists allowing him to do just that? How does Jasmine not recognize Aladdin just because he’s changed clothes? Aladdin’s reasoning for not wishing the Genie free doesn’t make any sense. Why keep the Genie around for one last wish. How does that solve any of his problems? Another Deus ex Machina. The Sultan changes the law that started all this in the first place.

The computer generated chase scene has not aged well.

Ultimately, the legacy of the movie lies in the casting of Robin Williams, who introduces a manic post-modern self[awareness that would inspire Shrek, which would in turn inspire an entire decade of cartoons.

It’s a groaner through and through.

THE LION KING

Film: Disney’s biggest success in the field of traditionally animated movies. The Highest grossing. One of the most well-received. Huge.

Plot: Seen Hamlet? But with less rape and death.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Cannibalized by hyenas.

Nature of Songs: Sure to dominate the lite rock / adult contemporary charts! Elton John hokum. All about emotional uplift and shit. The only tolerable song is “I Just Can’t Wait to be King”.

My Favorite Moment: The death of Mufasa. That scene is astounf=ding and emotionally devastating. Particularly Jeremy Irons effeminate performance. (“I shall practice my curtsy.”) The over-the-top score. The visuals. The pounding of the stampede. And the stillness afterwards. Simba, crawling up to his father’s dead body and wrapping himself in his arms. And ending with the deliciously sparse, “Kill him.” Perfectly executed.

Also, the call-out to Reversal of Fortune is awesomely suggestive.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The hyenas. Timon and Pumba. More manic comedy relief.

The slow mo during the climactic fight. Is there any need for that? It’s ridiculous on so many levels.

Political Agenda: It’s not an abject celebration of patriarchal values, although it definitely holds a reverence for such things. Despite a healthy depiction of a father/son dynamic, there is a sly swipe at all things unmanly. The effeminate weak villain. And the might makes right that dominates the ending. All this culminates in a message that leadership is a birthright - evoking the powers of the Heavens. Ending droughts and opening the skies.

The lion/hyena collaboration goes poorly. Is this movie pro-segregation?

No casualties in the battle at the end. Only the bad guys suffer casualties – suggesting a pro-war solution to problems.

Competition at the time: DragonBall Z, The Nightmare Before Christmas.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A sequel, a midquel, a stageplay, and a spin-off series.

Verdict: Wow. Look at the animation. It looks fantastic – much like The Rescuers Down Under. The pacing is perfect. The drama is handled well. Some of the characters are too thin, and the songs are terrible. There’s a self-awareness beginning to creep in here. It began with Aladdin, then scaled back to a more manageable level with The Lion King. Case in point, the swipe at “It’s a Small World”. There’s a lot of off beat humor “They call me Mr. Pig!”

A well-done movie. I’m surprised at how much I admire it all these years later.

POCAHONTAS

Film: Disney was becoming more and more politically correct with their movies. And by this point, everyone knew it. The first Disney animated movie to be based on real events (despite bearing no resemblance to real events).

Plot: Brits trek to a new world where a fashion model resides. They lust after the women and natural resources, but their hippie tendencies win out and everyone agrees to be boringly polite to each other. Just like it really happened.

Nature of Villain’s Death: None. He gets reprimanded.

Nature of Songs: A faux Indian / hippy nature thing. Vs. songs about capitalism. Not obvious at all. The opening of “Around the River Bend” is so awkward and rushed, I can’t believe no one felt the need to rewrite that or re-record it. As histrionic as “Colors of the Wind” is, I kind of like it. At least, it’s not a fucking love theme.

My Favorite Moment: The quick shot of the rat sneaking onto the ship as Ratclliffe climbs aboard is kind of obvious, but funny.

I love that shot taken from Age of Innocence during the “Mine, Mine, Mine” song.

The scene when Thomas bloodlessly kills Kokoum is nicely dramatic – particularly the build-up as characters on both sides of the divide catch Pocahontas macking with John Smith.

The ending is so over-the-top, it’s hard not to find it absurd. But, I like it regardless. Pocahontas chasing the ship. The wind blowing across the water and filling the sails. Building score. Ridiculous. Yet, awesome. Plus, it’s so distinct from all the other Disney endings. The only ending even close to being similar is The Fox and the Hound.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: There’s so much. The Chief’s singing voice. When Pocahontas magically learns to speak English (“You don’t understand a word I’m saying, do you?”). How a declaration of love stops genocide! Yes, that’s how it went down.

Political Agenda: In Disney’s desperate attempt to be politically correct, it is only natural that they would offend someone. Still, they hit on a number of issues. Up front, there’s an alignment with Native Americans and their struggle. There’s a message of environment over profit. And an adamant anti-war message. But it all has enough of an anti-British slant to make Mel Gibson happy.

Competition at the time: Toy Story.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A sequel and a video game.

Verdict: I love Native American stuff. But even for me, this is hard to take. It handles its mystical elements so clumsily. There’s communing with nature and then there’s batshit nuttiness. The blending of subtlety and histrionics does not mix. And I can’t say I’m a fan of the easy listening track over the credits, which has become a staple of animated Disney films since Beauty and the Beast.

A note: This DVD inserted “If I Never Knew You” with no warning. I had managed to avoid all newly inserted footage in the other movies, but this one showed up with no option to watch the original. WTF, Disney?

More Disney Movies

This stretch of Disney movies covers the transitional years. From the Nine Old Men to a younger generation.

ROBIN HOOD

Film: This film was the last classic story that Disney did for quite some time. Unlike any feature length story they had done before, all the parts are played by animals in people’s clothing. Even when Disney portrayed a fox and cat in clothes in Pinocchio, it was still a world populated by humans. They had depicted worlds inhabited soley by animals before, but only as short subjects (e.g. “Mickey and the Beanstalk”, “The Wind in the Willows”).

This was the third straight feature with Phil Harris.

Plot: A fox and a bear steal some shit from a gay lion and his snake lover. There’s some romantic confusion between the only fox in town and the only vixen in town. They don’t realize how much the other loves them. But then there’s a big party. Some taxes are levied. Then a rescue. Then a deus ex machina.

Nature of Villain’s Death: No death. Just workin’ on the rock pile.

Nature of Songs: Roger Miller sings the songs as Alan A-Dale. It’s mostly a constant strumming. Very country/folk – which is right in line with many of the live action films of the time. There’s a little too much music back to back.

And yet, there’s a little seventies jive in the score. And then there’s “Love Goes On and On.” A seventies light rock love anthem that plays as the characters stroll through the woods at night. Bah.

My Favorite Moment: Robin Hood’s stunt-tastic escape from the castle. I saw this movie quite a bit as a kid since it played on the Disney Channel all the time. That climax with the burning castle was awesome. Watching it now, it’s kind of dull. Still, it’s a little less dull than the rest of the movie.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: There’s some shitty plotting that revolves around how Robin Hood and Maid Marion both love each other but don’t think the other cares – leading to a parade of pep talks.

I got pretty mad at the movie when a church mouse gives his last farthing to church. WHY? And then Friar Tuck takes it! This guy’s last farthing! Jesus Christ!

Political Agenda: It’s Robin Hood, which is all about robbing the rich to feed the poor. This movie marks a deliberate shift in attention to class. The protagonists are no longer idle rich. They are struggling poor. There is an anti-taxing slant in general, but it focuses on overtaxing the poor. Although, any taxes in general seem to make it rain.

Competition at the time: Fantastic Planet, Snoopy Come Home.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: They’ve mostly left it alone. They have a tendency to do that with the movies that lend themselves best to an onging story.

Verdict: Peter Ustinov is excellent. The style is very much like what Don Bluth will be doing a decade later. For example, characters laugh with such ferocity, they have to grab their belly.

The cutesy kids are a drag. And the suspense is pathetic. Does anyone believe Robin is dead at the end?

The worst part is the ongoing trend of an unrelated Deus ex Machina at the end. PARDONED. “King Richard returned, and well . . . he just straightened everything out.” Seriously? What the hell was all that for if everything was just going to be straightened out in the end? Bah!

THE RESCUERS

Film: This movie marked the passing of the guard from one generation of Disney animators to the next. It was financially successful and less ambitious than many of their earlier movies.

Plot: A little girl is trapped in a swamp with a creepy fat man and some crocodiles. Rodents seek her out. They accompany her as she robs graves. A fat woman screams a lot. The little girl gets adopted and in a fit of insanity declares that rodents can talk.

Nature of Villain’s Death: She is left high on tree with crocodiles snapping at her feet. So she’s not dead just yet.

Nature of Songs: 70’s soft rock. All about love and flying and dshit like that. Prepare to be inspired!

My Favorite Moment: Penny sitting alone in the orphanage – sad that a couple chose the little red head girl instead of her. Awwwwwww. I also enjoyed Bob Newhart’s dry reading of Orville’s rules.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Bianca doesn’t buckle up because it will wrinkle her dress. Seriously? The late seventies and we’re still depicting chicks like this?

But really, the songs are designed to torture me with their flaccid sounds and casual optimism. Bah! I should also mention the animals to the rescue scene. CHARGE!

Political Agenda: There’s some vague religious nonsense. A prayer made to the sound of a tinkling piano. “Faith makes things turn out right.” God and rodents. That’s all you need to make thing right.

Once again, Disney made a story that revolved around poor people. While happiness does not necessarily mean coming into money or getting married, it does mean getting adopted.

Competition at the time: The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A proper sequel. Other than Fantasia, this is the only Disney animated movie to have a sequel that is also considered part of the cannon.

Verdict: Unlike anything Disney had done in almost two decades, this movie has the plot and momentum of a genre film. He entire film is one long rescue.

As far as the style of animation goes, this movie is less sketchy than the previous few films. There are some clever suspense set pieces such as the crocodiles playing the organ. It is a little jarring to see a Disney villain actually shooting a gun, but it’s a major indication that Disney was trying to be more modern. Finally, the romance is nicely handled in that it comes naturally. It's not just instant love at first sight.

THE MANY ADVENTURES OF WINNIE THE POOH

Film: A consolidation of the three Winnie the Pooh shorts – one of which had already won an Oscar.

Plot: Episodic. Winnie the Pooh and his friends wander around aimlessly misunderstanding things.

Nature of Villain’s Death: N/A

Nature of Songs: Childish wordplay and sing-song melodies. In particular, the Heffalumps and Woozels number is very Seuss-like. It takes the trippiness of Dumbo’s Pinks Elephants on Parade to the next level.

My Favorite Moment: There are quite a few. Rabbit trying to paint a smiley moose on Pooh’s ass – causing Pooh to laugh and mess up the smile.

Most of my favorite moments come from the middle section: “Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day.” After destroying Eeyore’s house, “Thanks for noticing me.”

“Pooh, did you do that?”

“I don’t think so.”

I also love Pigglet’s note. “Help P-P-Piglet (me).” It is complete nonsense, yet the character’s logic and speech is so confidently done that it makes perfect sense.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The buffer scene added to make the transition from Blustery Day to Tigger, Too. It sticks out like a sore thumb. And then there’s the continuity of Pigglet being back in his house after giving it to Owl in the previous installment. That didn’t really make me cringe as much as it just reminded me of the nature of the movie.

The wink at he end is a particularly embarrassing bit of corn.

Political Agenda: Forgiveness.

Competition at the time: Wizards, Watership Down, The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, Raggedy Ann and Andy. Animation grew darker during this period.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: They made one last short – with a style that’s looser and more spastic. Animated by a different studio – though released under the Disney name. And then there three television series – one of which was half-way decent. And finally ten –count ‘em – ten sequels.

Verdict: The movie is not quite as charming as I remember it, but it is very sweet. It’s ll about friendship and characters going out of their way to help each other - until the last part when Rabbit attempt to leave Tigger in the woods – only to have it backfire. There’s not much conflict and the sweetness does not sustain the movie for its entire length, but the tacked on final scene is sweet - though not as profound as the books’ ending.

THE FOX AND THE HOUND

Film: The first movie to exclusively rely on the new generation of Disney filmmakers. It was financial success.

Plot: Two boys meet in the woods. They go skinny dipping and fall in love. One is trained to kill, kill, kill. The other scurries a way often. They meet the next spring and shit goes down. They still kinda love each other, though.

Nature of Villain’s Death: The Grizzly causes himself to fall to his own death.

Nature of Songs: They’re all about friendship. At this point, most songs in Disney movies feel more and more superfluous.

My Favorite Moment: The old woman setting Tod free in the game preserve. Her rhyming voice-over is heart-breaking.

I also appreciate the well-plotted climatic fight with the Grizzly. It really is a clever reversal and choreography of characters fighting and interacting.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Big Mama Owl’s initial song is easy listening, obvious crap. It reeks of synthesized eighties sounds. Also, the nonsense about chasing the caterpillar is pretty awful filler.

But mostly, the love-at-first-sight shit rears its nasty head again. The entire love story is lame and forced. Worse of all is when Vixey decides how many kids they should have after hanging out for ten minutes. What a fucking nut.

Political Agenda: Friends can be different. Thematically, this may be Disney’s richest movie up to this point. Depicts the older paternal generation as intolerant and overly confident (It is young Copper who initially catches Tod’s scent.). Clearly, it’s a take on racial relations. The relationship between the fox and the hound is not one that comes naturally in the film. It is one that is forced on them by the old man who owns Copper. The older generation forces it on the younger – insisting that this is the way it is. It suggests that the conflict between foxes and hounds are not natural – as much as they’re instilled. “That’s the way it is.” But man made it that way. That being said, when Big Mama waves good-bye to a butterfly, I can’t help but wonder what the hell she actually eats.

The movie also plays loosely with sexuality. Early on, Tod rolls into Copper’s arms. Copper leans over him as Tod nibbles on Copper’s ear. A very suggestive moment between two male characters.

Gender roles are in full effect here. Men hunt. Women sew.

As with the last few Disney animated films, this one is a far cry from watching rich people dream and dance. These people live in shacks. Their vehicles are run down. And for the first time, there’s no rich epilogue.

There is even a bit of an anti-gun message: “You trigger happy, lunatic. Give me that gun!” There is real shift in politics happening here.

Competition at the time: The Secret of NIMH. Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown (And Don’t Come Back), Heavy Metal, The Last Unicorn. Still, animation continued to grow darker and darker while Disney remained relatively light.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A “midquel.

Verdict: From the striking opening (a slow, ominous pan through the forest with no music initially) to the uncharacteristically melancholy ending, this animated movie is worlds different than what had come before. It has a very eighties in its music and look. The style isn’t too different from the made-for-TV Bunnicula adaptation, but the difference is in the story. It gives so much more to chew on and discuss and does it all without being preachy. A very impressive bit of writing.

I have a few quibbles, though. Enough with the owls. And Sandy Duncan is obnoxious as fuck.

Regardless, the ending is not all trumped up emotional uplift. It’s bittersweet. Copper and Tod have acknowledged their love for each other, but must learn to live apart. A wise movie that’s says something without imposing its values. Despite the obnoxious filler in places, one of the better Disney films I’ve encountered so far.

THE BLACK CAULDRON

Film: The first PG-rated cartoon from Disney. There were many stylistic differences what Disney had done before. It was hugely expensive and contained no musical numbers. The tone was much, much darker than previous films. As a result for Disney’s experimentation, the movie turned out to be a box office bomb.

Plot: A boy’s pig is taken by a dragon. Boy goes to a castle full of creeps and gets thrown in a dungeon. There he meets a chick and a dude with a magic lyre. He robs a grave. He meets some magic people who point him towards other magic people. Bad guys show up again. Inexplicable magic goes down.

Nature of Villain’s Death: His flesh is sucked off by the Black Cauldron – until he bursts into a ball of flames. Kind of awesome.

Nature of Songs: None.

My Favorite Moment: The introduction of the Horned King is very, very creepy. For a cartoon, it really amazed me at how eerie it was to see the back of his head slowly turn. I also loved the Cauldron Born scene. Disney can be really good at being creepy.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The ending. Ugh! The witches go back on their assertion that whoever crawls into the cauldron will never crawl out alive. Inexplicably, that is exactly what DOES happen. Such a crock. Wasn’t there supposed to be a consequence to self-sacrifice? And then Gurgi pushes the two attractive young people’s lips together. Gross.

Political Agenda: There’s a fairly limp anti-war slant. In the beginning, Taran worries that the war (what war is he talking about?) will end before he gets to fight in it. When one character offers the magic sword, “A magnificent sword for a warrior.” Taran laments, “What would I do with a sword?”

And yet, when Taran is quick to sacrifice himself to the Cauldron to stop the Horned King. Ultimately Gurgi sacrifices himself, but he comes back to life. Apparently there IS glory in death and sacrifice. And then you get to live to bask in it.

Yet again, Disney focuses on poor people.

Competition at the time: The Care Bears Movie. It’s a darker movie thatn you would believe.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: Other than a video game, they mostly ignored it.

Verdict: This is a shining milestone of Disney’s dark period – which included the live-action movies Return to Oz and Something Wicked This Way Comes. The animation is beautiful. Much of the style is very typical of the animated fantasy films of the time, but with the attention to detail that only Disney could provide. They use many different techniques, and it goes together well – although not seamlessly. I love the darkness of this movie, but it lacks cohesiveness and a real commitment to its darkness. The tacked on / out of nowhere happy ending marrs it badly.

Stray observation: One character calls another a “Hairy little thief.” This phrase will come up again in Aladdin.

THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE

Film: Disney went small again with this children’s story of a mouse detective that fancies himself Sherlock Holmes.

Plot: A dude is kidnapped. His daughter hires some old men to find him. Disguises, robots, and silliness ensue.

Nature of Villain’s Death: A fall caused by Big Ben.

Nature of Songs: Only two. A Vincent Price song that feels too show-tuney for the rest of the movie. A villain song about how villainous he is. And a second song sung by random show girl.

My Favorite Moment: The little girl creeps up on a toy bassinet, and the bat leaps out. The circumstances are inexplicable, but the moment feels like something from a horror movie.

Stray observation: The climax on Big Ben that’s reminiscent of Sherlock’s death at Reichenbach Falls.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Basil’s escape from the uber trap. It never felt especially dangerous, And the makeshift Rube Goldberg trap is not that clever.

Political Agenda: Amazingly void of any political allusions - save a slavish allegiance to authority and the status quo. Basil never expresses any political thoughts, but must save the Queen regardless.

There is a moment when Ratigan threatens to tax the elderly and children, aka “Parasites and sponges.”

The movie also depicts waterfront tavern regulars as thugs and bullies.

Competition at the time: An American Tail, Transformers: The Movie, My Little Pony: The Movie, When the Wind Blows.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: It seems that Disney has a tendency to ignore those movies that would most benefit from a sequel or series. This is one of those that they ignored. Completely.

Verdict: I love Sherlock Holmes shit, but this movie is strictly children’s fare. From the very beginning, amore action-oriented and comical tone is established. Like most of the animated films of the last decade, this one is very plot-centered. The voices feel too recognizable and out of place. Especially Vincent Price. Main character seems more interested in showing off than solving the mystery. The animation is less stiff. More bouncy. And the voice over at the end lacks much punch. All in all, not too impressive, but inoffensive in its flaccidness.

OLIVER & COMPANY

Film: With this movie, Disney tried to take a classic story (Oliver Twist) and create something modern and light easy on the kids.

Plot: A little orphan boy is abused by the system. Thrown on the streets, sold into slavery, seduced into a life of crime. Eventually he is adopted by a loving (and rich) family, but his ties to the underworld are strong and he betrays the rich, loving family. Murder and rape ensue. Except that this story is about kitties and puppies and nobody gets raped.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Hit by a train.

Nature of Songs: Pure eighties montage. Most songs are excuses for eighties choreography about being poor and friendship. Being poor is fun. Especially if you have friends! One of the songs is even about the joys of stealing. It’s not quite “You’ve Got to Pick a Pocket or Two” . . . it’s not even close.

My Favorite Moment: The fight on the Cadillac on the train tracks was fun. And that’s reaching.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Anything involving Cheech Marin. I get it. The Chihuahua is Mexican, but does he have to be so misogynistic and ignorant and repulsive?

I also hate how everyone is living together at the end. Dancing and eating cake. One big bullshit make-shift family.

Political Agenda: The rich are especially idle and shallow in this. Yet, the ending implies that to be rich makes for a happy ending. Oliver rejects his poor friends and chooses to spend his life with his rich friends.

Competition at the time: The Land Before Time. It opened on the same day. Don Bluth, for a moment, proved himself a strong competitor.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: They’ve ignored it.

Verdict: The entire movie is an embarrassment. It is trying too hard to be of the eighties. Dogs wearing sunglasses. Ghetto blasters. High fives. Billy Joel. Ruth Pointer. Bette Midler. Clearly, this movie was not meant to stand the test of time. It was designed to make some fast money, which it did. It is difficult not to compare this movie with 1968's Oliver!, which is vastly superior. I also believe Oliver! would ultimately serve as a template for the next ten years of Dinsey animated musicals as they would borrow so much from it. The darkness, the violent confrontational climaxes, the Broadway-inspired musical numbers. Sadly, none of that is here. 

Lastly, animals rescuing a little girls. I think we’ve been here before. Disney had fallen into a bad rut and seemingly settled in for lazy stories designed to vaguely distract only those under twelve.

Disney Films Part 3

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

Film: This is the movie Walt himself had been wanting to make for forever. He had been talking out of doing this film for Disney’s return to feature length story-telling (opting to do Cinderella instead). It’s a good thing because Alice bombed at the box office.

Plot: A young person who talks to animals follows a mysterious someone underground . . . where a civilization of people in mime make-up with robot farmers use him to inseminate all the women . . . I may have this plot confused with A BOY AND HIS DOG.

Nature of Villain’s Death: I suppose the villain is the mannish Queen of Hearts – even though she doesn’t make her first appearance until over an hour into the movie. She does not die however as much as she, and the entire court, slips into non-existence as Alice wakes up from her nap.

Nature of Songs: Most of the songs aspire to mimic the nonsense logic and wordplay of Lewis Carroll’s source material, but is so watered down for the kiddies, most of the ambiguity and cleverness is neutered. Except for that song about the flowers. That’s just more of the same soporific shit from before.

My Favorite Moment: Clearly the most interesting character is the Chesire Cat. But while there should be something sinister about him, he mostly just comes off as frustratingly unhelpful.

However, there’s something wonderfully creepy about the cards painting the roses blood-red. Slapping the red paint around willy nilly. It’s very much like imagery from a horror movie to see trails of red dripping across the lawn. The threat of being beheaded hanging over each of the characters involved. There’s a darkness there that seems unintentional and unsettling in it. When the Queens screams “Off with their heads!” she is greeted with cheers. The Queen smiles and basks in the bloodthirsty approval.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Alice opens a small box with mysterious food and a note that reads “Eat me.” How time has changed the meaning of that particular phrase. I also find Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum’s schtick pretty embarrassing. They speak in goofy voices, honk when they bounce on their asses, and tell terrible jokes.

Political Agenda: The movie seems to imply that curiosity and travel are pointless, absurd, and detrimental to a good education. It is safer and more practical to sit and listen to your mother (or older sister or private tutor or whoever the hell that is) read stiff text books all afternoon.

Competition at the time: None that I know of.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: It was famously mined for one of their role-playing games, KINGDOM HEARTS.

Verdict: Alice is the first heroine not to sit around longing for a boy to come along. She doesn’t seem to care about boys once during her entire adventure. Instead, she just longs for the world to be different. She wants up to be down and down to backwards. Compared to Snow White and Cinderella, this is downright Communist! But whereas Cinderella padded its story shamelessly, Alice plows through its events with relentless drive – not even bothering to properly introduce any of its characters or linger for more than three minutes with any character other than Alice.

Like Fantasia, Alice in Wonderland gained a wider audience later on when many became more interested in head films, surrealism, and absurd humor. In each new episode, Alice is asked to eat something strange or drinking something strange. This movie could not be made today without most audience members reading something about drug use into the action.

Regardless, Alice is such a blank slate meant only to observe one bizarre situation after another that it is impossible to care much about the tacked on lesson she learns in the end. There’s absolutely no point-of-view to this movie. Only a workman-like tour through Wonderland.



PETER PAN

Film: The second Disney flick in a row to feature a young girl longing to go to another world, and then doing so. Only to find that she really wants to come back home.

Plot: A boy sneaks into a children’s nursery, gives the children inside “fairy dust” and then kidnaps them. He takes them to an isolated island populated by a savages, sirens and killers. He introduces them to the other children he has drugged and kidnapped. Soon, the band of killers tracks them down and a violent confrontation ensues. The children insists on being taken home and the boy kidnapper relents and reunites them with their abusive father.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Hook doesn’t die – as much as he’s banished to narrowingly escaping the crocodile’s jaws as they swim into the distance.

Nature of Songs: Generally, the songs are choir-heavy lullabies or rhyme-heavy novelty songs. Mostly, they involve sugary Hallmark card level bon mots of wonder. “When there’s a smile in your heart, there’s no better time to start . . .” And then there’s that one song I’ll get to in a moment.

My Favorite Moment: The sword fight at the end – despite the fact that it lacks much suspense and relies too much on silly humor. But out of this, my favorite moment is the single cut to the Crocodile splashing the water as the children singing their taunting song at Captain Hook. It’s the one bit of humor that’s stylish and just slapstick.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The entire depiction of the Native Americans. The worst moment being “What Makes the Red Man Red.” I know the casual racism is considered of its time, but did no one working on the movie stop and say, “Hey! An entire race of people might find this offensive.” I’m sure it was (and still is) viewed as complimentary and good-natured in the context of the movie.

Political Agenda: “A jealous female can be tricked into anything.” This line sums up most of everything about the movie. Every girl in the movie is depicted as jealous of Peter Pan’s attentions – despite the fact that Pan treats all the women like crap. He’s callous and self-absorber, so of course all the women fight over him.

Competition at the time: Russia began doing a lot if animated film around this time, but I haven’t seen any of them.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: Two sequels that were actually released to theaters over fifty years later.

Verdict: Peter Pan always puts me to sleep. As usual, I had to go back and rewatch some scenes. There was some beautiful animation – particularly in the beginning. It seems though that once they arrive in Neverland, the detailed animation suffers. I do appreciate how the film deals with the theme of never growing up. It’ll happen when it’s supposed to happen. Peter Pan is not punished for not growing up. And Wendy does not decide that it’s time to grow up. She accepts that she must, but she is not forced to. It’s a nice balancing act. But it’s all superficial. The conflicts within the movie have nothing to do with growing up or staying young. It doesn’t really amount to much. For an adventure story, it’s too dull.

Despite the title character being a boy, this is very much Wendy’s story. At this point, Disney became obsessed with the passing wants of the young girl. At least, Wendy doesn’t move in with Peter Pan and live happily ever after.

Sometimes offensive, always dull. Never engaging. Another story about a rich girl who has nothing better to do than pine and moan for nothing in particular. Thumbs down.



LADY AND THE TRAMP

Film: The first Disney movie to be based on a unpublished story. Also the first to be filmed in cinemascope. It was very successful financially and has come into very high regard in the years since.

Plot: DOGGIES!

Nature of Villain’s Death: Aunt Sarah and her Siamese cats are the villains, but they don’t die. Nothing at all happens to them. No comeuppance whatsoever. The rat that sneaks into the nursery however, gets decimated by Tramp.

Nature of Songs: Other than the song at the beginning, this movie features a sharp departure from the music that had come before. This becomes clear during the song that Lady sings inside her head. A single voice. Sparse and emotional. Instantly I liked it so much more than what had come before.

Most (if not all) of the songs were written by Peggy Lee. Some were even sung by Peggy Lee – including the torch song “He’s a Tramp,” which I would consider a highlight of the film.

My Favorite Moment: I think my favorite moments are Peggy Lee’s “He’s a Tramp” and the part where Tramp gives Lady his philosophy on life. He explains how he spends each night of the week with a different family. He has so many different families, but “None of them have me.” It’s a philosophy that I personally subscribe to.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The racial stereotyping. The two Siamese cats. And the dogs in the pound – which include a Russian, German and Mexican.

Political Agenda: The movie implies that despite being a vagabond and rover at heart, every loner really wants to settle down and have kids. Despite not showing any desire at all to settle down with Lady. Tramp suddenly does in the coda of the movie. He has a family, and enjoys Christmas Eve with them. It’s disgusting.

Competition at the time: The British animated ANIMAL FARM. Much darker than anything Disney was doing at this time. I’m not sure how it did at the box office, but I know that Lady and the Tramp did better.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A sequel was made almost fifty years later.

Verdict: First off, I need to point out that the DVD I received from Netflix is not letterboxed. This movie is in cinemascope. Fucker should be letterboxed. Disney’s style was getting better and better with each film. They took advantage of the cinemascope plane by using wider angles. The animators also became more detail-oriented with their backgrounds. This movie has a very realistic look to it.

It’s too sentimental by far. The scene in the pound features a montage of doggies sitting around with tears in their eyes – miserable. The cutesiness factor is off the charts even early on when Lady refuses to go to bed.

So it’s cute and sweet. It looks great. And it has a message that even the most restless of us just want to settle down and procreate. I never before realized how much I dislike this movie.



SLEEPING BEAUTY

Film: An expensive flop for Disney. The last animated fairy tale Disney made before his death. It did not go over well at the time.

Plot: A rich baby is born. An entire kingdom pretends to care. Various witches and fairies show up to rhyme at the baby in lieu of bringing gifts. Then three raging fairies kidnap the girl and show her how awesome being a peasant is. She grows up and her stench attracts all the animals in the kingdom to her. She is sexually assaulted by a stranger while being inappropriate with the wild life. She likes it. Crazy bitch finds the girl. Crazy bitch induces a coma in the girl The fairies drug everyone in the kingdom. The sexual assailant finds the crazy bitch and kills her with the help of the fairies. He then takes advantage of coma girl. Hey live happily ever after.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Maleficent. Stabbed through the heart with a sword and falls off a cliff. It’s about time they got back to killing the villain.

Nature of Songs: More choir-heavy love songs. All dreamy lovey shit. As one of the fairies makes her spell on Sleeping Beauty, the choir chimes in, “For True Love Conquers All.” The only exception is the song performed by the kings – about how awesome it will be when their kids get married and their kingdoms unite.

My Favorite Moment: Some of the interplay between the fairies is quite good. It turns out they are legitimate characters with relatable personalities. One such bit of dialogue: “It looks awful.” “That’s because it’s on you, dear.”

The shot of Aurora passed out on the floor is pretty jarring.

But the best part is Maleficent’s transformation into the dragon. A beautiful bit of dark fantasy animation and gripping drama. “Now shall you deal with me . . . and all the powers of Hell!” And she rises through the clouds to reveal herself as a dragon. Kick ass.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: By far, it’s the scene of Aurora and Philip meeting in the forest and dancing together. Once again, true love is decided at first sight.

Political Agenda: If there’s any political agenda here, it’s about class. Oh, the outrage at marrying a peasant! This is a movie about how rich people are destined to marry other rich people.

Competition at the time: None that I know of.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: The characters were used in various Mickey’s House of whatever projects.

Verdict: This movie looks amazing. It was a distinct change from the style that had come previously. All sharp edges and stylized lighting. The animators also made brilliant use of the widescreen. At times, it is jaw-dropping. Also chaning: how the characters move. There’s no longer the same kind of heaviness to the movement.

The writers also did a great job of expanding the plot. It’s not just drawn out with extended song and dance numbers. There are twists. There are numerous developed characters. There’s a real sense of danger is Maleficent’s anger and power. In general, the story-telling is much stronger than it had been. For instance, when the fairies find Philip’s hat on the floor and instantly deduce that Maleficent has been there and kidnapped Philip. They’re smart and they make the leap without any exposition.

In a way, Sleeping Beauty is the reverse of Peter Pan. This is a boy’s movie disguised as a girl’s movie. The trick in adapting this story is to figure out how to deal with a protagonist that’s asleep for most of the story. The answer: make the prince the protagonist. As a result, the climax features a sword fight with a motherfucking dragon. Not just some chick biting an apple.

There is a darkness here that had not been in previous fairy tale films. This movie was a massive leap forward on all levels, and it’s a shame that Disney lost so much money on it initially. The best of the fairy tale Disney movies up to this point.



101 DALMATIONS

Film: The first of Disney’s films to have a contemporary setting. Also one of the few to revolve around poor people. The movie and its intricate visual design was made possible with the use of Xerox. It was a huge hit – both commercially and critically. When it was re-released in 1991, I remember it making at least $70 million.

Plot: Doggies! Plus an evil bitch. Doggies win!

Nature of Villain’s Death: No death. She totals her car, but that’s it.

Nature of Songs: Sparse. The jazzy “Cruella De Vil” is the highlights. An ode to stylish villainy.

My Favorite Moment: When the maid realizes that the men who broke into the house stole, not the silverware, but the puppies. She screams into the street. It’s a powerful and emotional moment.

Also, my favorite puppy is Lucky, who has to be dragged away from the television.

The hide and go seek chase through the ghost town is very suspenseful – despite the fact that Cruella willfully ignores 101 Labradors.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The puppies getting milk from a cow’s utter. It’s cringe-inducing in a good way. “The little darlings!”

Political Agenda: Clearly, the movie is for animal rights. That is up front and center. Secondly, it is one of the few Disney movies to not feature the troubles of the rich and famous. In the end, the poor family comes into money, but it’s almost as a way to insure that they can take care of 101 Dalmatians rather than some divine reward for being good and proper or some shit.

Competition at the time: Not much going on that I recognize.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: Not only did Disney make a sequel, they also made a live action remake – and a sequel to the remake.

Verdict: Very sixties from the jazzy score to the detailed and cluttered cut and paste look. The animators borrow from Warner Brothers’ playbook and only suggest backgrounds without completely filling them in. There is a refined, more adult humor. And they don’t rely soley on animals doing cutesy shit to gain audience sympathy. The human characters are interesting and well done. Most of the animals have distinct personalities.

There is real suspense in the Dalmations exodus through the snow and menace in De Vil’s character despite her bafoonish antics. Cruella De Vil is one of Disney’s best villains. The hard angles in her cheeks. The gratuitous coat. The black and white hair. The angry rasp in her voice. Disney was firing on all cylanders with this one. This may be one of the very bets of Disney’s animated movies.



THE SWORD IN THE STONE

Film: Disney mines THE ONCE AND FUTURE KING for a few easily recognizable names and events and builds a movie around nothing. The film did decently, but is now often neglected.

Plot: A boy falls in with a creepy old man. The old man stalks the boy. He insists on teaching the boy about love and nature. When the boy decides he wants to do his own thing, the creepy old man blows his top. The boy becomes king through magic and a willful suspension of disbelief by everyone in England.

Nature of Villain’s Death: There is no villain. As there is no conflict.

Nature of Songs: For the first time, an opening song was not sung by a choir, but a single voice and guitar. Immediately, I was grateful for the change. However, the rest of the songs are novelty teaching songs sung by Merlin. The songs are sparse and about as useless and out of place and intolerable as everything else in the movie.

My Favorite Moment: The wizard’s duel – hands down. Merlin and Madame Mim change into various animals in an attempt to one up and ultimately kill each other. It’s a cleverly choreographed bit of fanciful magic and twists. Merlin wins the duel by playing smarter – not stronger.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The many different voices of young Arthur. It really is jarring to hear his voice change so often.

Political Agenda: Once again, Happiness is equated with wealth and power. Merlin spends the bulk of the movie arguing that Arthur needs to pursue his education in order to fulfill his destiny, but in the end, it is fate that picks Arthur out of the crowd. Perhaps the education, which never seems very effective, could help Arthur in the long run, but the movie stops short of any such suggestion. It seems to suggest that those who should rise, will – because fate dictates it.

Competition at the time: Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol, Hey There, It’s Yogi Bear!, Return to Oz, Pinocchio In Outer Space, The Smurfs and the Magic Flute, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and The Man Called Flintstone.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: Oddly enough, they’ve left his one alone. Despite the fact that the rest of ONCE AND FUTURE KING is just sitting there – waiting to be adapted. Hopefully better.

Verdict: The movement of the characters is cumbersome in a way that’s not at all natural. The style is changing and I blame Wolfgang Rotherman, the director of all the Disney films through the sixties and seventies. They all feature this strange style of movement. I never really liked it much.

The scene when Arthur reveals to the female squirrel that he’s not a squirrel is an excellent twist on how love had been presented up to this point in Disney films. Love at first sight was often treated as the last word in love in these Disney films. Here, that is beautifully undermined.

Self-moving mops and brooms are a recurring image after Fantasia and Sleeping Beauty.

The problem with The Sword in the Stone is the plotting. There is a lack of impetus or conflict. The movie is nothing more than a parade of failed lessons by Merlin with little to no pay off. Merlin’s departure is too calculated and random to feel natural. It is clearly a device meant to leave Arthur alone for the final act – despite the fact that all Arthur does is pull the sword from the stone. There is no indication that his time with Merlin made this possible. As a result, the ending is rushed and has nothing to do with the rest of the movie. The deus ex machina seems to deliberately undercut Merlin’s entire argument. With this lack of conflict, coherence, or character, The Sword in the Stone remains easily forgettable and pointless.



THE JUNGLE BOOK

Film: The last film that Walt worked on before his death. Reportedly, he handed the book to the story editors and told them that the first thing he wants them to do is not read the book. It was a huge hit and remains beloved by many.

Plot: Wolves raising a young man cub get bored with the whiny little shit and ask a panther to take him to the edge of the jungle and eat him . . . or something. The panther and the man cub run into a bear, who also wants to eat him. They play nice for a while – pretending they both don’t want to eat the man cub. Then a snake is like “Fuck it. I’m eating him.” It doesn’t work. Then a tiger is like, “Fuck you all. I’m eating him.” Also, some monkeys tries to sexually assault him. In the end, he learns the value of friendship and togetherness, but racing after the hot chick at the edge of the jungle is way more important than that shit.

Nature of Villain’s Death: No death. He just runs off with fire tied to his tail.

Nature of Songs: Jungle jazz. When I was only two or three, I had an audio cassette of Disney tunes. It featured both “The Bare Necessities” and “I Wanna Be Like You.” Both of these songs feature a lot of odd grunting and bizarre slang. A lot of the sounds are meant to evoke some kind of sixties hipsterdom, but really it’s just weird and disconcerting.

My Favorite Moment: I like any scee with Kaa. There is a creepy pedophilic tone to his scenes. The scene between Kaa and Shere Khan is pure genius. I always love a scene between two villains – trying to out-evil each other.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Again, it’s the racial stereotypes. Watching the scenes with the monkees is very uncomfortable.

Also the deus ex machina of lightning creating fire just when Mowgli needs it most. As with the Sword in the Stone before, this scene does not grow out of what happened before. It just happens – effectively negating everything that came before.

Also, the blatant rip off of MARTY by bad Beatles impersonations feels more like a lack of imagination than an in-joke.

Political Agenda: It seems to promote segregation. This came at a time when the civil rights movement was in full effect. Mowgli is clearly not meant for the jungle. For his own good. He has to be with his own kind. This is nature’s way, you see. Any other way will result in violence.

And then, to drive home the point about domesticity, the chick at the end sings about cooking and having a husband and kids. Apparently, that's what civilized people do.

Competition at the time: Yellow Submarine. The Asterix Movies. Yellow Submarine.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: They turned it into an animated series a little over twenty years later. Tailspin. But it only takes the characters and transports them to a world set in the 1930s – completely populated by anthropomorphic animals. Weird.

Verdict: Again, it doesn’t build. His character development (which comes out of nowhere) is dictated by is attraction to a random girl. He seems to learn how important his friends are, only to ditch them instantly. The movie coasts entirely on the personalities of the voice actors. It is episodic and every scene is detached from each previous scene. Even the relationship between Baloo and Mowgli is instant and unchanging. All in all, uninvolving and too much of its time.



THE ARISTOCATS

Film: A mash up of elements from 101 Dalmations and Lady and the Tramp. It was a big hit.

Plot: Animals are named in a will. Poor guy gets jealous and, being poor, he is also evil. He kidnaps the animals, but they get away and come back. He tries to kidnap them again and all hell breaks loose.

Nature of Villain’s Death: None.

Nature of Songs: Faux French, mostly. The highlight, of course, is “Everybody Wants to be a Cat.”

My Favorite Moment: Most of the movie is, as one character calls it, “Sissy stuff.” The one scene I like is an odd moment. It involves the villainous butler trying to steal back his hat and umbrella from two dogs. It has been well established by this point in the movie that human beings cannot hear the animals talking. Yet here, he acts as if the animals are people. He even pauses and remains quiet when the two dogs talk amongst themselves. It’s very surreal and out of place. In this moment, as the movie breaks its own rules temporarily, I was fascinated. Otherwise, not at all.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The geese. “Think goose!” It’s a terrible desperate joke. The animation is rock bottom awful (the characters are badly superimposed on the background).

Also in the running, the lead cat’s learning to be less of an independent spirit and stating, “[The children] need . . . sort of . . .a father around.” Gag.

Political Agenda: As with Lady and the Tramp, this movie is about how even the most independent of loners really, really wants to settle down and have a family. And while wealth plays a large part in Lady and the Tramp’s politics, it plays an even bigger part here.

Competition at the time: A Boy Named Charlie Brown, Fritz the Cat.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A sequel was planned, but it never came to fruition.

Verdict: The movie is trying too hard to be 101 Dalmations divided by Lady and the Tramp. I’m pretty sick of movies about people living in mansions. Also sick of childish animals being cute. I’m sick of all these movies.