The Muppet Movie

I am reasonably sure that the first movie I ever saw in a theater was The Muppet Movie in 1979. I believe this is my first movie theater-going experience because I remember my initial reaction on arriving at the theater: I wanted to sit at the far side of the theater. There were curtains running up and down the sides, and I was of the impression that the curtains would pull back and I would find myself sitting right next to a Muppet. Close enough to touch.

My parents took me to the movies fairly regularly as a kid. I remember seeing Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Bon Voyage Charlie Brown, The Last Unicorn, The Secret of NIMH, E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, The Jungle Book, Song of the South, The Muppets Take Manhattan and more. I’m certain that if they knew how much the movies would come to dominate my life, they would never have even let on that such a thing even existed.

Watching The Muppet Movie as an adult shines a glaring spotlight on how much children’s movies have changed in the last thirty years. Compared to the kind of movies aimed at children today (including current Muppet films), The Muppet Movie looks downright gritty. It lacks the darkness that would come to overshadow most of the movies I loved as a child, but it still has a rough, seat-of-its-pants charm to it. It's not glossy or slick. And the scene at El Sleazo's is just this side of adult in its embracing of Vaudevillian one-liners and, well, sleaze. To the movie's credit, it does not condescend to kids. Still, I can’t help but wonder what exactly about this movie I loved as a kid. I generally assume it was the wonder of movies in general. Despite its children-friendly plot and action, the move’s humor depends on an adult’s sense of recognition. It doesn’t involve double entendres or political commentary. Instead, the movie shamelessly embraces outdated, corny humor, groan-inducing puns, and surreal sight gags. ("I seem to have lost my sense of direction." "Have you tried Hare Krishna?") It trots out guest stars as if in a desperate attempt to gain some kind of credibility – of course, as a three-year-old the presence of these stars was lost on me. I probably didn’t recognize a one (save for Big Bird). And it furiously sidesteps conflicts with jokes and gags.

There was much about The Muppet Movie that proved disorienting to me at the time. Once older, I could see that the disorienting moments were really just stylistic jokes and clumsy blocking. Regardless, I came to appreciate some of the dream-like illogic of how events played out or how characters moved (like how Miss Piggy magically arrives at the top of the stairs during a fight, or how Gonzo’s truck silently flips onto the Studebaker when the two vehicles crash, or how Kermit avoids getting crushed by a steamroller). Harmlessly incongruous moments like that have stuck with me, and I continue to appreciate bizarre inner logic in the movies I see as an adult. Moments that take place off camera and force the audience to fill in the gap, or shrug it off. There's something about those moments in films that draw me in and spur my imagination.

But the movie hasn't aged well for me. Watching the movie again recently, there are many problems that grate on me. First off, the humor is not the biting, dark, sly satirical kind of humor that I've come to love. Instead, the humor is safe, inoffensive, and quaint. But most striking is the movie’s rampant avoidance of conflict. Despite building up the danger with Doc Hopper and Kermit (going so far as to bring in a hired killer (“I keel frogs!”)), the movie resolves the issue with a lame sight gag with little set-up. And while the “Standard Rich and Famous Contract” joke at the end is a clever post-modern comment, it again resolves a major point of conflict without so much as a moment of tension. I need real conflict in my movies! I need consequences! I need sacrifice! Even as a kid, I generally needed this. None of that exists in this movie, but it didn’t matter to me as a kid. The Muppet Movie is about a journey across America, where friends are made easily, conflicts are resolved with sincere appeals to emotions, and bland dreams are shared and understood by all.

In this way, The Muppet Movie reminds me a lot of The Wizard of Oz. Both movies are brightly colored journeys across unknown territories. Both involve chasing dreams. And both involve making friends that share your dreams along the way. Like many kids at the time, I watched The Wizard of Oz every time it was rebroadcast on television. It was a tradition. But The Muppet Movie remains more special of the two to me if just for the way it acknowledges its shortcomings and fully embraces its lame plot points. 

For the record, my favorite Muppet has always been Gonzo – most likely due to his role in this movie. He remains an outsider. Despite having a - um – girlfriend, his eye wanders. His dream is slightly askew from the others (“I want to go to Bombay, India and become a movie star!”), but seems to relent and follow the others. He tries to insert himself into conversations only to be ignored and stared down. And I as a kid, I loved that lonely, forlorn song he sings near the end – although as an adult, the deliberately obtuse, self-pitying lyrics get on my nerves. Regardless, he had a unrelenting energy and enthusiasm. He was different. And in later movies, he was recklessly adventurous.

I remember as I left the theater, my exact words were “I wish I had Kermit and Miss Piggy”. I immediately thought that what I meant to say was that I wish I had all the Muppets. Whatever the hell that meant. Regardless, my dad interpreted my scattershot comment and surprised me with small figures of Kermit and Miss Piggy. Not puppets, but five inch, easily broken action figures. I went on to collect all the Muppet action figures in this line (there were seven). Perhaps this is where my completist collector's nature was born. 

The movie does not remain one of my favorites. It is difficult for me to go back and find something in it that I can still embrace unlike the grim loneliness of Charlie Brown or the fun creepiness of Scooby Doo. I can’t even get behind the half-assed dream chasing expressed by the characters. It’s pleasantly diverting with fun personalities. But the targets of its humor are not that particularly well chosen. The plotting is not clever or tight. And the story is not dramatic. I appreciate the surreal humor, meta-references and elliptical blocking – but not much else. In fact, as an adult, I find the movie's depiction of effortless friendships and dreams-easily-won downright infuriating. If I were to see it today, with fresh eyes, I would only see exactly the kind of movie that I normally rail against with its life-can-be-so-easy attitude. I can honestly say that this movie is directly responsible for my love of the movies, but it is one I have outgrown.