Raiders of the Lost Ark

1928-29 Sunrise

A friend of mine has decided to watch all the Best Picture Oscar Winners in chronological order. A small group of people are joining him - including myself. Here are a few of the comments made at this year's movie.

• “I thought it was framed really well and stuff.”
• “He has bad posture.”
• “The special effects are great for 1927!”
• “I think this part is supposed to be funny.”
• “It was better than I thought, but better-than-I-thought still isn’t . . .”
  

War Movies from 1970 that Were Not About the Vietnam War

(but they really were).

Psycho

People I Would Cast in My Movies if I Made Movies of My Scripts

People I Would Cast in My Movies if I Made Movies of My Scripts

I’ve elaborated some on my choices and listed the role that inspired me to fake cast each actor, as well as a line of dialogue from the script I wrote.

Michael J. Anderson as Parkes Jack in God Eat God.
Comparable viewing: Carnivale.
“We are sapient fungus. Grown in some techie’s lab. When we came out corrupt, they figured we were fodder for human testing. Or something like it. Why not? Who cares about us? Christians don’t mind. They didn’t want us here in the first place. We’re just mono-generational specimens, as they called us. I prefer instant genocide. Kind of like instant coffee, except I don’t take cream . . . These are the jokes.”

Michael Angorano as Haynes Young in Bad Influence.
Comparable viewing: Sky High.
“Is it like the Bat Cave?”

Jamie Bell as Grey West in On Both Ends of a Pistol.
Comparable viewing: Undertow.
“Go back to Kansas, Dorothy. We’re all out of Oz here.”


Kristen Bell as Deborah Winters in Apocalypse Eve.
Comparable viewing: Veronica Mars.
“The hell I will. You may be giving up, but I’ve got things to do. People are depending on me. I am not alone.”

Maria Bello as Nicole Jackson in Song Noir.
Comparable viewing: A History of Violence.
“That was Shannon. He wouldn’t answer the door if it was on fire.”

Diego Luna as Dustin Anderson in The Last Oasis.
Comparable viewing: Nicotina.
“It’s the off-season. It’s always the off-season.”

Michael Biehn as T. J. Stevenson in To Kill the Rich.
Comparable viewing: Rampage.
“It’s no good. There’s no money in non-profit.”

Taye Diggs as Martin Griffith in God Eat God.
Comparable viewing: Day Break.
“Yes, I know. Hence the need for research. We still don’t know what happens inside an event horizon. Quantum mechanics, general relativity, gravity. None of those theories explain the mathematical singularity that is a black hole. Doesn’t that scare you? Not knowing?”

Peter Dinklage as Enoch in Apocalypse Eve.
Comparable viewing: The Station Agent.
“Do you really think that you have any credibility left with me?”

Zac Ephron as Rider in Bad Influence.
Comparable viewing: High School Musical.
This choice is an attempt to cast against type.

Sarah Michelle Gellar as Michelle Gentry in The Initiation.
Comparable viewing: Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
“I haven’t done anything to deserve this!”

Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Benji in Benji.
Comparable viewing: The Lookout.
“Do you want to know a secret?”

Ryan Gosling as Eddie Seaver in The Suicide Train.
Comparable viewing: Half Nelson.
“I hear voices. I don’t know them. Kind of like whispers. They can be excited. Or sad. Or angry. They warn me. They tell me things. Secrets. Other people’s secrets. And they’re always right.”

Graham Greene as Spears in Escape the Skin.
Comparable viewing: Dances with Wolves.
(In Navajo)”You are in danger. You are all in danger. You may stay for the night. They often approach the cabin at night, but you must leave in the morning.”

Jared Harris as Travelor in Apocalypse Eve.
Comparable viewing: Fringe
“Leviathan. Leviathan, naturally. I know the password. For Safety Shelter Seven. The Reluctant. Named for its denizen, I suspect.”

Keira Knightley as Mary/Diane Allgood in The Last Oasis.
Comparable viewing: Love Actually.
“That’s a hell of a clean knife. Are we going to slaughter some tourists later?”

Shia LaBeouf as Truck in Bad Influence
Comparable viewing: Disturbia.
“You don’t think I could leave my clothes on, do you?”

Mary McDonnell as Evelyn Mahl in On Both Ends of a Pistol.
Comparable viewing: Donnie Darko.
“I better go now. If I stay here another minute, I’m gonna cry!”

Patrick McGoohan as Dr. Russell Sgarlatta in God Eat God.
Comparable viewing: The Prisoner.
“Practically omniscient. I instructed him to monitor you. It has been following you ever since you left your hotel room in Washington. It has your voice and image on file.”

Jeremy Renner as Scott in A Kid Called Conrad.
Comparable viewing: 12 and Holding.
“Then don’t parent in public. If you’re gonna hit your kid, take him home and do it.”

Sam Rockwell as Rhett Jackson in Song Noir.
Comparable viewing: Confessions of a Dangerous Mind.
“You don’t take things away from Rhett Jackson!”

Sissy Spacek as Crystal in The Last Oasis.
Comparable viewing: Carrie.
“I better get back. The curse is starting to kick in.”

Nick Stahl as Jason Teller in Song Noir.
Comparable viewing: Bully.
“If she had known she was going to commit suicide, she should have slept with me while she had the chance. Stupid cunt.”

Reese Witherspoon as the Girl in Benji.
Comparable viewing: Legally Blonde.
“Awe fuck, you’re dead – aren’t you?”

The G. I. Joe Trilogy

Simon Baker as Snake Eyes.
Comparable viewing: Smith.
“ . . .”

Cate Blanchett as The Baroness.
Comparable viewing: The Good German.
“I’ll hardly get emotional. But I will show you exactly what a woman is capable of. I will make you regret turning me out.”

George Clooney as Colonel Hawk.
Comparable viewing: Three Kings.
“No. First, I want you know the intense amount of pain you have caused my family and me for the last decade. All I have thought about, from the moment I get up in the mornings, to the moment I drift off to what little sleep I get, and even then in my dreams, all I think about is what I’m going to do to you.”


Johnny Depp as Cobra Commander.
Comparable viewing: Pirates of the Caribbean.
“Soon the citizenry of America will see that we are the most powerful force on the planet. It is not enough to be patriotic. To love your country is passive, weak, unacceptable. Only Americans are fit to rule the planet. And if America herself will not rise to the duty, Cobra will for her!”

Taye Diggs as Stalker.
Comparable viewing: Day Break.
“But their deaths will not go unpunished. Be it know that those responsible will pay for what they have done. They will suffer and hurt ten times the suffering they have caused us. We will met out the most brutal and unforgiving justice imaginable. And we will not tolerate anyone who gets in our way. We will find them and exterminate them. God bless America.”

Famke Janssen as Scarlett.
Comparable viewing: X2.
“I’m not a delicate flower, Hawk. I mean that as a threat.”

Daniel Day Kim as Storm Shadow.
Comparable viewing: LOST.
“I have the memories of a dead man. They are cold and dark like black icicles. And they are not alone. What have you done to me?”

Shia LaBeouf as Ripcord.
Comparable viewing: A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints.
“Hey Robin Hood! Why not ditch that toy and fire some jacketed lead like a real soldier?!”

Tobey Maguire as Breaker.
Comparable viewing: Spider-Man 2.
“What would you do, if you knew that Hawk had Cover Girl killed?”

Johnny Lee Miller as Major Bludd.
Comparable viewing: Smith.
“There was a time when you wouldn’t let someone like Destro tell you what to do. Look at you, now. A stooge for someone so obviously inferior to yourself.”

Clive Owen as Destro.
Comparable viewing: Inside Man.
“We may have some differences of opinion and even some hostility between us, but there are still some things I will not abide by. Patricide is one of them.”


Kiefer Sutherland as Duke.
Comparable viewing: 24.
“I’m the new top sergeant around here, and things are going to be different. From now on, you only have two options. We can agree to disagree or we can take it outside. Your call.”

Colin's Acceptance Speech

". . Delightful remorse . . . "

American Gothic

American Gothic

A horror series produced by Sam Raimi that aired on CBS in 1995-1996.

The Set-Up: In the creepy little southern town of Trinity, the American dream is alive and well thanks to mullet-sporting Sheriff Lucas Buck (Gary Cole). Apparently, Sheriff Buck has it in his head that in order to keep the peace, he needs to get his hands on supernatural wunderkind Caleb Temple (Lucas Black) who keeps in psychic contact with his recently murdered sister, Merlyn. Dr. Crowther (Jake Weber) is a Yankee, recovering alcoholic who gets the heebie jeebies from Sheriff Buck and decides the Sheriff should be nowhere near the kid.

Meanwhile, Caleb’s distant cousin Gail Emory (Page Turco) is awakened by a psychic vision that calls her to the town so she can protect Caleb and keep the Sheriff’s murderous mitts off the kid while she investigates the deaths of her own parents.

Sheriff Buck does not take kindly to this. By the way, he may or may not be Satan himself.

Typical episode: Caleb and his friend Boone creep around town getting into mischief. They discover something they shouldn’t. Sheriff Buck shows up and blackmails someone into helping him. Gail investigates the family history and finds more and more disturbing evidence. Sheriff Buck keeps showing up and intimidating her. Caleb consults with his dead sister. Someone stands up to the Sheriff – often it’s Caleb’s dead sister. Either he succeeds in intimidating them, or he kills them. Or he goads them into killing themselves.

The style: The Andy Griffith Show, possessed by Twin Peaks. Or as the show runners describe it in the commentary, Touched by Satan.

Typical Dialogue: “Looks like Marlene did you right. She comes from a long line of backwoods nymphos.”

More Dialogue: “This town does cover its tracks, all right. . . The secret history of the south is hidden in blood. Genealogy . . . family.”

More Dialogue: “The devil’s cleverest ploy is to persuade you he doesn’t exist. Never underestimate the power of the unholy to deceive.”

More Dialogue: “Ted, that man is half dead. You half way took us hostage. I’m going to call you Half Ted.”

More Dialogue: “Oh, she’s a gentle soul. Heart of gold and all that crap.”

Typical Kid Dialogue: “Grampa’s taking a nap on the ceiling.”

My Favorite Dialogue: As a kid looks at his birthday cake,
“What should I wish for, Daddy?”
“Salvation.”

Funny Observation: This is the second one-season wonder in a row that features blood spelling out words in the pilot episode.

It’s also the second show to feature someone showering in blood.

Special Guest Stars: Bruce Campbell and Ted Raimi.

My favorite episodes:

1.1 “Pilot” The opening scene is fantastic. It burns the creepy, frightening southern gothic atmosphere onto your brain. Corpses crying blood. Blood spelling out words on doors. Secrets uncovered. The special effects are questionable, but the style is fun and eerie. Nicely paced with a cliffhanger ending.
1.2 “A Tree Grows in Trinity” The search for Caleb continues. Sheriff Buck’s grip on the town is strong thanks to manufactured favors. Another eerie episode with clues aplenty. Con: the editing techniques are dated and too over-the-top.
1.4 “Damned if You Don’t” This show nicely establishes the Sheriff’s grip on the town. A subtly menacing episode.
1. 7 “Meet the Beetles” Bruce Campbell shows up. An awesome Psycho reference. Caleb digs up his own grave. This episode is the creepiest so far. But why is the editing so whack? This episode is one of the more stand-alone stories.
1.9 “To Hell and Back” This show really likes to evoke Boo Radley. It also does a great job of setting up a character’s weakness and utilizing it for topnotch drama. It fills in the backstory of one particular character. By the way, Sheriff Buck is one evil fuck. And I’m a little ashamed, but this episode even made me shed a single, solitary tear.
1.11 “Rebirth” I didn’t like this episode at first. I thought I had it all figured out. But then it pulled a clever trick on me. I feel gullible. We see Merlyn’s dark side for the first time.
1.14 “Inhumanitas” The most religiously themed episode, and it’s awesome. Finally, a proper supernatural showdown, but Sheriff Buck has an ace in the hole. It draws a line and raises the stakes considerably.
1.16 “Dr. Death Takes a Holiday” An extremely dark episode. Another showdown. A major win for the dark side. The plot is delivering on its early promises.
1.21 “The Buck Stops Here” A very twisted penultimate episode that nicely sets up all the pieces for the finale. Dark, suspenseful and surprising.
1.22 “Requiem” The final episode is totally deranged and totally awesome. The forces of “good” no longer matter. The final battle is between two evils. All with a ridiculously over the top score. And thanks to excellent character development, allegiances are a seriously tricky matter. I mean, who the hell am I supposed to root for here?

My Least favorite:

1.13 “Resurrector” The Sheriff Buck portion of this episode is pretty dull and ordinary. It’s a take on An American Tragedy. But I like Caleb’s story – if only because we get to see voodoo landlady/legal guardian Loris Holt. Where the hell has she been? Plus the ending is pretty awesome. This show knows how to end an episode.
1.20 “Strangler” This episode was silly. The Boston Strangler seems like an awfully random spirit to evoke. An unnecessary episode.

How many episodes were produced? 22. Only 18 aired.

Was there much continuity? Absolutely. The story is a slow build. Characters develop and information is doled out deliberately. Issues often carry from episode to episode, and little things mentioned early on often come back later. There are very few cliffhanger endings, but the endings often set up what is to follow.

However, you must watch it in production order – not broadcast order, which is how it is set up on the DVD! To watch it in broadcast order would drive a person insane. For instance, one character receives their back story episode after they have been committed and locked away. And a viewer would never buy that one character might fall for another character if one particular episode appears at the end of the run rather than in the middle.

Here’s the proper viewing order, which is what I used.

Disc 1 Side A Episode 1 - "Pilot"
Disc 1 Side A Episode 2 - "A Tree Grows in Trinity"
Disc 1 Side A Episode 3 - "Eye of the Beholder"
Disc 1 Side B Episode 1 - "Damned if You Don't"
Disc 3 Side A Episode 4 - "Potato Boy"
Disc 1 Side B Episode 2 - "Dead to the World"
Disc 1 Side B Episode 3 - "Meet the Beetles"
Disc 1 Side B Episode 4 - "Strong Arm of the Law"
Disc 2 Side B Episode 3 - "To Hell and Back"
Disc 2 Side B Episode 2 - "The Beast Within"
Disc 2 Side A Episode 1 - "Rebirth"
Disc 3 Side B Episode 1 - "Ring of Fire"
Disc 2 Side A Episode 2 - "Resurrector"
Disc 2 Side A Episode 3 - "Inhumanitas"
Disc 2 Side A Episode 4 - "The Plague Sower"
Disc 2 Side B Episode 1 - "Doctor Death Takes a Holiday"
Disc 2 Side B Episode 4 - "Learning to Crawl"
Disc 3 Side B Episode 2 - "Echo of Your Last Goodbye"
Disc 3 Side B Episode 3 - "Strangler"
Disc 3 Side A Episode 1 - "Triangle"
Disc 3 Side A Episode 2 - "The Buck Stops Here"
Disc 3 Side A Episode 3 - "Requiem"

Why was it canceled?
According to the mostly unreliable commentary, the ratings started out well and dropped later. And it is clear to me that the network liked to play around with the show too much – airing episodes out of order when it really matters. Even the order on the DVD is totally fucked up. But really, I can only imagine that a show this horror-heavy would never do especially well on network television.

Was there closure?
According to the commentary, the show runners knew that the show was been canceled with enough time to write an ending. So while there is no giant cliffhanger, the show just kind of stops. We get the big showdown that we’ve been waiting on for 22 episodes, but it doesn’t really feel as if all that much is resolved.

Any unattended issues:
What the hell happened in that last minute? The show just stops. I’m not entirely sure who won. And then some of the supporting characters never got a proper resolution.

The Deputy never got out from under the Sheriff’s shadow or completely dealt with the secret he was hiding. I assume Gail will be okay. And will Dr. Peale always be so damn clueless? And what about Selena? All these characters completely fall away in the final few moments.

The verdict:
Hey, this show was pretty good. It was certainly better than I remembered.

Lucas Back (Sling Blade) is great as the pissy little kid with no one he can trust. But I’m not a fan of Gary Cole. Something about him irks me. I feel as if he goes for the easiest path in crafting a performance. His performance is all attitude and swagger, and he lacks the menace or charisma his character needs. The rest of the cast is excellent.

The pacing can be a little slow, but it fits the slow drawl of Southern Living that the show is going for. The special effects are often cheesy and the editing is continually misguided. Still, I like the imaginative camera work – the canted angles and wild dolly shots. But there are too many goofy mini montages.

There is considerable attention spent on character development. There are complex backstories and very rarely does a character do anything that hasn’t been carefully set up in preceding episodes. That being said, Buck’s seduction of one particular character feels unearned to me. Characters I expected to be one-off characters often came back for a bigger purpose. Meanwhile, big characters seem to disappear completely (Where are you, Ms. Holt? There are people in your house!).

This show was created by Shaun Cassidy, who also created Invasion. There are more than a few similarities. Most especially the evil sheriff and the southern town where he is king. As with Invasion, I’m not quite sure what the stakes are exactly – beyond the pragmatic matter of life and death. What happens if Buck “turns” Caleb? What is Merlyn’s agenda exactly? It reminds me a little of Carnivale, where at the end the carnies band together to defeat Clancy Brown, but what do they have against Clancy Brown?

Unlike Invasion, the characters are well defined and I always understand how much they know, how much they suspect, what they are fighting for, and what is preventing them from fighting harder.

Exactly as you would suspect, it is Sam Raimi for television. Cleaned up for the censors, but still gruesome, scary and funny. Beyond the dated, over-reaching stylistics, there is a truly well done story with strong characters. An excellent purchase.

Magnolia

My Birthday

Well, it was my Birthday yesterday. I am now thirty-three.

To celebrate, I went to my favorite Mexican restaurant for lunch. I had pizza for dinner, and I went to the movies. Afterwards, I went to a bar and ran into someone I kinda know. We shot the shit a wee bit. I came home. Mostly dull, rainy, depressing. Same as always. At least I didn't get my car towed this year. 

My Imaginary Perfect Day:

First off, it's a summer day.

8 a.m.: I lift weights while watching an episode of one of my favorite shows.

9 a.m.: I skateboard on a pier while listening to music on my iPod Touch (disclaimer - I own no iPod Touch and there is no such pier).

10 a.m.: I go to a coffee shop and do some productive writing. A script, a short story, a blog entry. Anything. 

2 p.m.: I bike to a nearby gym with an outdoor lap pool (no such gym exists). I swim at least two miles while taking breaks to read a good book. 

6 p.m.: I play with my Wii Fit (disclaimer: I own no Wii Fit).

7 p.m.: I play guitar on the roof of my apartment building barefoot until sunset. (disclaimer: I cannot access the roof of my building). 

8 p.m.: I watch some DVDs or Blu-Ray discs while eating pineapple pizza that I had delivered (disclaimer - I own no Blu-Ray player or Blu-Ray discs).

Midnight: I go to a midnight showing of a great movie. I drink while I'm there.

2 a.m.: I go to a bar and continue drinking until last call. I meet some cool people and we make plans to go canoeing or white water rafting or something equally awesome. 

If only everyday where like that.

Black Snake Moan

X2

The Silence of the Lambs