The Modern Conversation

The clip above is a beautiful illustration of reason and understanding in the face of the modern conversation. A mob of angry presumptuous jerks repeating ignorant, hateful assertions in an effort to intimidate someone into agreeing with them despite the fact that the mob doesn't even know what it's talking about. 

I’ve said it before, but it’s true. I am on a different wavelength than everybody else. I’m not on a higher level. Hopefully not on a lower level. Just on a  . . . *different* wavelength. Sometimes I have a very hard time holding a conversation with people. I’m not uneducated. I’m not overeducated. Part of the problem is that I just don’t have any conversation skills. Or I get stuck in conversations I couldn’t care less about. Mostly, however, I dislike the state of conversation these days. I hate communicating. 

This pitiful state is most obvious in political debate. I almost always fall on the liberal and progressive side of issues, and the current brouhaha over Health Care is no exception. Both sides frustrate me. Every debate degenerates into sarcasm, name-calling, exaggeration, pompous hyperbole, and self-righteous disgust. This happens on both sides of the debate – and these days there only seems to exist two separate and mutually exclusive sides. If you question one aspect of an argument, you are immediately accused of being on the other side.  There is no middle ground, and as a result, the important questions and truths are being lost and ignored. Everyone thinks they’re Steve Colbert. Smug, satirical, shocked at the hypocrisy of the other side.

Both liberals and conservatives seem to have adopted the “either-you’re-with-us-or-against-us” mindset. And most frustratingly of all, people seem to choose their side without understanding a damn thing about it. Everyone wants to look smart without asking any questions. Check out this clip of the Tea Baggers protesting on 9/12. None of them even know why they’re there. They just are.

The best part is the interviewer’s commenting how no one seems to understand the difference between fascism, socialism, and communism. Still, I can’t help but wonder if there really wasn’t ONE PERSON present who knew why they were there, who could actually answer some of the questions posed to them, who were actually intelligent. Are conservatives really that stupid? Surely not. Although I have yet to hear a modern conservative pundit who didn't sound like a hateful, foolish hypocrite. At the same time, what the fuck are they protesting? They’re upset that the President wants to provide Health Insurance to Americans? A few conservative pundits have said that it’s more than that, but they never explain such assertions further. It’s all racist, batshit crazy, ignorant nothing. Obama’s speech wasn’t specific enough to be filled with lies. But rather than grill him on details, people are simply calling him a liar and leaving it at that. Useless.

During the Bush Administration, there was plenty of vitriol and frustration coming from the liberals. But it didn't come from nowhere. It began with the handling of the 2000 Election. It escalated with the pandering to the lowest common denominator in building a case for war with a country that never threatened us and couldn't defend itself. (For the record, I don't think Saddam was good man, but out of all the dictators doing terrible things at that time, he was really low on the list.) There were specific points in the presented case that were regularly challenged and brushed aside of the Administration. Years later, it has come to light that much of the evidence was not just wrong, but out and out fabricated. This is the kind of dissent we need It is our duty to keep out leaders in check. We elect them (usually), and we can't just hand over all our power tot hem - ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ASK US TO! Ahem. The Administration flaunted its disregard for facts and truth and reason on a regular basis, and again pandered to hate and bigotry to win the re-election. I remain frustrated that this happened and baffled that so many defended (and continue to defend) the practices of that Administration. But the left was presenting reasoned, well-thought questions while the right countered with smirks, fear tactics, and godfucking. These are serious issues that need serious debate. And the right continually fails to provide that. 

I’m trying really hard to understand the conservative side of this Health Care issue, but conservatives can’t seem to articulate anything reasonable. There are plenty of liberals who are guilty of the very same, but that side I get. At the risk of sounding like a braggart, I have actually done some research and I understand what’s being debated, what’s true and what isn’t, and why these issues are important. Someone didn’t just dictate them to me. The main issue being that Americans need Health Insurance both to be healthy and to avoid losing all their money when they get sick.  I’m having difficulty seeing the evil in this.

On Facebook the other day, I got in a conversation with someone about the “lies” in Obama’s speech. I joined the conversation by pointing out that Joe Wilson was wrong in his rudely and inappropriate assertion.  This other person asserted that everything else in the speech was a lie. I asked him what specifically, and the asswipe got sarcastic and provided a link while implying the link illustrated the plan is not deficit-neutral. In fact, the link suggested just the opposite. The shit didn’t even read his own link. This is the current state of conversation. Not five minutes later, I got into a conversation with someone on Twitter. I made a statement that didn’t contradict anything anyone else said – about Kanye West of all things. What kind of response did I get? Sarcasm. More sarcasm. Are people really unable to communicate without resorting to irony. (The person apologized when I expressed frustration and said that the quip was meant as a slam to Kanye. Sadly, the quip was aimed at me. Not Kanye.). I suppose it’s a defense mechanism – to keep people at a distance. I have my own defense mechanisms. At work, specifically, my conversations are taciturn and I never reveal too much about how I feel or what I think. This is mostly because I wish to avoid more sarcasm, self-righteous indignation, or trumped-up drama. Also, I’ve gotten pretty sick of talking to folks who are self-appointed know-it-alls. What happened to ordinary conversations in which people can just learn what the other person thinks and reconcile it with what they think. I’m scared of talking to people because I worry that the result will be something that completely turns me off.

Sometimes, I hate logging onto Twitter because there are so many people on there who regularly bitch and moan about how annoyed they are with every aspect of society. (Kind of what I’m doing here). I understand that people need a place to vent, but why the constant barrage of put-upon outrage. I am amazed at the unrelenting vitriolic hyperbole aimed at pop culture. Do we really need to get worked up about how terrible Kanye West is? I agree that he’s a jackass, but I don’t HATE him. Even more frustrating is the hate leveled at some performers simply because someone doesn’t like their movies. I’m not innocent of this attitude. I never want to sit through another Mel Gibson movie ever again. But why fling such hatred at people who barely register on the zeitgeist of pop culture. Is Demetri Martin really someone we need to bring down and destroy? Why can’t anybody just articulate what they don’t like about something rather than posting something broad and ugly and fishing? Case in point: one facebook friend just posted “Malice towards all.” That’s the entire post. The point?  Attention, I guess. It’s his schtick. And I’m so sick of it.

Now for the really frustrating part. I know that there are people out there having decent, civil, intelligent conversations. I see it in coffee shops and bars. There are some people that seem really interesting and I would love to talk to them. But I don’t know what the hell to say.  Some are clients at the place where I work. Some work at places I frequent. Is it okay to ask out someone for a drink. Even dudes? Would that make things weird. If someone seems nice, what do I say to get an in?

This week, I started my Digital Editing Class. I chatted a bit with the dude sitting next to me and the teacher. But not as much as some of the other folks in the class. I don’t know what to say to people. I really need to make some friends. I long for adult conversation. But I avoid conversation for fear of all that frustrating shit. I hate communicating with people, but I really want to. Is anyone else having this problem? No? Just me? I figured.