G. I. Joe comics

I did not have many comic books when I was growing up. My parents didn’t like them. From time to time, a friend of my dad’s would give me a big box of knock-off comic books (anybody else remember Spider-Ham?), but otherwise I never saw one. I somehow managed to get the occasional Batman or Spider-Man comic, but I never really followed any comics. That is, until I saw a G.I. Joe comic.

I was a huge fan of the G.I Joe animated series during its run on television. I was seven. I generally resisted showing any interest in the comics until I saw one with my absolute favorite character on the cover: Major Bludd. Why was he my favorite? Probably the eye patch and the batshit English accent. Or the arm canon and crazy moustache. Whatever it was, he was my favorite and I had to have that particular issue: Issue #17 “Loose Ends”. This issue came at the backend of the comic’s first ongoing story arc. Thusly, I was pretty confused by the action in the comic. Characters who weren’t on the show were in the comics. Strange relationships, both sexual and adversarial, existed between characters. And some characters were enemies despite being on the same team. This really was confusing for me. These characters I had come to love (from the animated TV series) were leading a double life! They were more violent and dangerous than I had thought. They spoke in choppy technical jargon that went way over my head. The good guys didn’t always seem like beacons of light and charity. It confused me - and excited me.

The story opens with Hawk, nearly dead and lying on the ground - blood streaming from him. As one character described him, he was in “a world o’hurt”. As I read on, I learned that Bludd had tried to kill Destro, who was now swearing revenge. There was a character named Scarface whom Bludd recognized (“--You!!”) just before getting slugged (in a series of thudding punches that contorted the body and made my own neck hurt) from a generic Joe character whose name I can’t recall even now. There was a character named Dr. Venom who confided in Cobra Commander that he should hope Major Bludd is dead(!). Hawk, once in the hospital, refers to himself as a dangerous character. And the Baroness is in the burn unit! It was all so damn sordid. And by the end of the issue, none of this was resolved. Not only were these characters leading a double life, I still didn’t have enough pieces to puzzle it out!

I was completely lost and baffled. I read that particular issue over and over trying to make sense of it. As I waded through the military terminology and Major Bludd’s nonsense poetry, I longed to know what had come before and what was coming next. I needed the context. I felt as if I had been missing out on something huge and awesome, and I needed to know more.

The next issue I bullied my parents into buying was #19 – it was the next issue I noticed on the rack at the store where I would get Icees. This issue was the last in this particular ongoing story arc. Wrapping things up – at least a little. In it, the Baroness is bandaged up like a mummy. Scarface has been captured by the Joes. And Kwinn and Snake Eyes have been taken prisoner by Cobra. The action culminates with a violent attack on G.I. Joe headquarters. Writer Larry Hama expertly cuts back and forth between battle action on the field, and smaller but equally violent action inside the G.I. Joe headquarters – where the really exciting stuff happens. Bludd, now a prisoner, manages to punch out Doc, steal his keys, shoot General Flagg in the back, and kill another Cobra soldier before rescuing the comatose Baroness and commandeering a Cobra copter. Scarface frantically begs Doc to free him before a bomb is set to go off, but Doc leaves Scarface behind to die in the explosion. On the field, the conflict between Kwinn and Venom comes to a head as Venom shoots Kwinn. Blood flows from Kwinn’s nose as he crumples to the ground, falling under Venom’s smoking gun. As he does, a grenade tumbles from his hand. With wild eyes, Venom spies it, “A grenade – fallen from a dead man’s hand.” Boom! In just a few pages, the comic writers had managed to kill off every major character who did not have a toy for purchase. No more Scarface. No more Flagg. No more Venom. And no more Kwinn.

The final frame of the issue features Hawk asking, “Why the long faces, fellas? We just won a – major . . . victory.” Trailing off as Snake Eyes and Doc hold out Kwinn’s necklace and Flagg’s dog tags – dark symbols of the casualties. For a kid who was used to the animated series (where soldiers ALWAYS parachuted from their helicopters before they crashed), this was heavy stuff. Death, sadness, betrayal. Awesome. And with the benefit(!) of not understanding why everyone is acting the way they are. Backstories were lost on me. Motivations were cloudy. And the dialogue was borderline indecipherable (for a kid). Most people would consider all these limitations a reason to lose interest in the comic. Not me. I loved it. It all compelled me to go back and immerse myself in this story and these warped versions of the characters I loved in the cartoon.

The only back issue I was able to find at the time (this was the period when I was introduced to The Great Escape), was issue #16: “Night Attack”. This issue filled in a few missing pieces. One: In an attempt to kill Destro, Bludd shoots the Baroness’ tank and leaves her as it explodes. But the scene that really grabbed me was the climatic fight on the back of the turret of a tank. Hawk climbs onto the Cobra tank and wrestles with Cobra Commander. After slugging the Commander, Hawk fights with Destro. As they fight, the Commander comes to. He stands, regards Hawk and Destro fighting and half-consciously mumbles, “unnhn . . . go t-to k-k-kill him . . . .That’s what I h-have t’do . . . K-kill him . . . Yes . . . but . . . which one?” As he slurs this, the frame reveals a face by face shot of Hawk and Destro. Blam, blam, blam. The Commander shoots Hawk in the back. Hawk crashes down to the ground and the tank rolls on. It was a chilling moment. I still didn’t fully grasp why the Commander would pause to consider whom he should shoot. At the time, I thought perhaps he had a bit of amnesia. As an adult, I can appreciate that the truth is meant to be ambiguous. Is it because the Commander wants to kill Destro? Is it because he is disoriented? Probably a little bit of both, and much more. Some of these moments went over my seven-year-old head. But I loved it. I wanted to understand it. I wanted to go back to the beginning and start over and so that I could understand these foreign motivations.

I would continue to get the odd issue of G.I. Joe – so many stories baffled and disturbed me. The issue in which the Soft Master dies was particularly shocking to me since it seemed especially random and without motivation. The issue in which the Cobra Commander’s son was on trial for attempting to assassinate the Commander was another highlight for me. Mostly because I was missing previous issues, so I wasn’t sure whom he was working with or why. I was also drawn in by his dare for the bad guys to “Bring in the guys with the rubber hoses.” I had no idea what that meant at the time, but my imagination went wild in a way that it rarely does as an adult. And the ever-growing grudges between characters (Destro was easily at odds with anyone else in Cobra). As with The Empire Strikes Back, my curiosity about what was happening in those missing moments fed my affection for serialized, oblique story-telling – even when it was full of holes, maybe even more so then. I also learned to love this alternate (at least to the cartoons) universe where the characters led very different, involved, dark lives. Not until years later, was I able to purchase a collection of the comics so that I could fill in the blanks. Filling in the empty pieces is always a bit disappointing, but the tease, the mystery – that’s what drew me in and galvanized my interest in G.I. Joe – and it continues to do so when I see it today.