The Drak Pack

Drak Pack

A Saturday morning cartoon that aired on CBS in 1980.

The Set-Up: “From the monsters of the past, comes a new generation dedicated to reversing the evil image of their forefathers. Under the leadership of none other than Count Dracula, known as Big D, three teenagers form the a do-gooder group named the Drak Pack. With special powers they can transform into super mighty monsters and use their skills against all evil doers – especially the diabolical Dr. Dred, and his renegade rascals, Toad, Fly, Mummy Man, and Vampira, a group known as OGRE, the Organization of Generally Rotten Enterprises. It’s right versus wrong. Good over greed. Niceness against naughtiness. That’s the dedication of the terrific trio, Frankie, Howler, and Drak, Jr. The Drak Pack.”

Typical episode: The Drak Pack is enjoying their vacation at the beach when they receive a message from Big D. Big D, a.k.a. Dracula, makes a comment about kids these days and slams his fingers in his coffin. The Drak Pack takes this as a cue to go after the omniscient Dr. Dred, who sets up a meeting with Drak, Jr. in some obscure location. As usual, Dr. Dred is infinitely more clever than the Drak Pack and he ensnares them in a trap. He then leaves them unattended to follow out his evil plan to do something goofy with an exceptionally nifty piece of sci-fi gadgetry. Drak, Jr. notes that they were caught by the ole this-or-that trick. The trio suddenly remembers that the best way to defeat Dred is to “Drak Whack.” Now one could reasonably assume the “Drak Whack” might be some sort of a circle jerk. You would only be half wrong. They proceed to touch each other and yell, “whack-O!” They then turn into monsters.

As monsters, they are still insipid, but with more strength and magical powers. Drak, Jr. can change into a dog, mouse, or bat. But his favorite shape is a whiff of smoke. Howler can blow really hard. And Frankie can . . . be strong, I guess. Ultimately, Dred is defeated when his right hand man, Toad, does something even stupider than the Drak Pack and brings about OGRE’s defeat. Dr. Dred swears revenge and the monsters check in with Big D, who says something sarcastic.

The style: Superfriends divided by Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein minus logic.

Typical dialogue: “We better Drak pack whack and make tracks!”

Sadly, The Best Dialogue On the Show: “I wonder what’s left in the refrigerator. Yuck! Nothing but plasma. I hate those diet drinks!”

My favorite episodes:
I can’t determine the proper viewing order. According to my research, it is not what is on the DVD, but since there’s no continuity or ongoing structure, it doesn’t really matter.

• “Dred’s Photo Finish” An evil camera turns people into paper. Cameras are evil.
  
• “Package Deal” The only time Dr. Dred seems aware that Count Dracula even exists. Also a plus, the gang travels to Transylvania. It’s also the only episode that even approaches cashing in on the horror concept of the series.
  

Least Favorite:

• “Color Me Dredful” I just want to note a moment near the beginning where Dred is discussing his evil plan to drain the color from everything with his anti-color gun. As he lays it out, the camera pans to a picture of the Drak Pack. Dred implies he will use his anti-color gun on the threesome, and the picture turns black and white. It reminds me of a moment in a late era episode of Scooby Doo, where the Blimp is discussing his plans to use the mask of Medusa to turn Scooby and his friends to stone. Yes, my nerdiness knows no bounds. Anyway, my point is . . . who the fuck cares about draining the color from shit. Getting turned to stone? A problem. Going black and white? Not so much. That’s the problem with this show in a nutshell. There is nothing threatening. Ever.
  

How many episodes were produced? 15.

Is there much continuity? Not at all. First off, the main concept of the series is heavily flawed. The main kid is introduced by the narrator as Drac, Jr. But Dracula refers to himself as his great uncle. Dracula is susceptible to sunlight, but Drak Jr isn’t. The werewolf turns into a werewolf whenever he Drak Whacks – regardless of whether or not there is a full moon.

And clearly, Dr. Dred is the most competent character on the show. He has surveillance equipment everywhere on the planet, and it’s the kind of surveillance equipment where he always gets a great shot of the action, and the audio is perfect.

In one episode, Dred loses his fly swatter, but mysteriously has it again later. Furthermore, Dred always uses his fly swatter to whip Toad – not Fly – although I will concede that the last one could be a running joke.

Why was it canceled? Cartoon shows in the early eighties were highly disposable. This was one of those.

Was there closure? Whatever.

Any unattended issues: Issues?

The verdict: Ouch. The reason I own this show was an attempt to revisit my very early taste in junk. My taste has changed since I was four. I’m surprised to learn this came out in 1980 since that must mean that my penchant for monsters was already in place that early, but that’s why I watched the show. It had monsters. My other favorite show at the time was Scooby Doo. But Scooby Doo took place in haunted houses, cemeteries, bogs, and dark places. And at night. This show takes place in the day at beaches and carnivals. There is nothing creepy about this show despite the monster element.

There are only one or two times when someone runs away at the sight on three monsters, but it’s mostly an opportunity wasted. There is no allegory regarding outcasts. Despite the opening narration, there is no mention of trying to right the wrongs of earlier generations. It’s just three fairly incompetent superheroes in monster make-up. And they’re not even good super heroes at that. In one episode, the bad guys are defeated because Dracula calls the police! The police!

The three main characters have the most obnoxious cartoon voices ever devised and when Drak, Jr. turns into a vampire, he looks like a fucking drag queen. The show was clearly devised by a bunch of cash-in kings with a paucity of imagination and a vague knowledge of monster movies, super heroes, and the Wacky Races. I want to go back and slap my four-year-old self senseless.