Still More Disney Movie-Watching

It looks like I may actually finish watching all the hand drawn animated Disney movies by the time The Princess and the Frog opens on Friday. Amazing.

THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME

Film: Disney goes dark. Afraid to break out of their formula, they squeezed Victor Hug’s novel uneasily into the formula. It was still a success, but less so than the previous few films.

Plot: Read The Hunchback of Notre Dame? It’s like that, but with less rape and murder.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Falls from very high. Not the Hunchback’s fault!

Nature of Songs: Dark. Heavily dramatic Broadway. Some are really, really dark. And one (the Gargoyle’s song) is painfully out of place with its comic relief.

My Favorite Moment: The ominous opening number. It promises something that the rest f the movie is unable to deliver. Bells over darkness. Very dramatic and dark. It rolls through a large amount of backstory quickly, in a riveting fashion. I especially love that shot where Clopin becomes the Archdeacon with a cut masked by a bolt of lightning. Intense.

Also awesome: “Hellfire.” Another dark musical sequence. The cut from the bells to the thurible. The figure dancing in the flames. The cloaked figures rising out of the floor. “She will be mine, or she will burn.”

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The gargoyles are too manic. But that moment when they are frozen in Frolo’s presence is powerful.

But the big winner is “Achilles, heal!”

Also, the ending. When it turns out Esmerelda’s not dead. The faux happy ending. And when Quasimodo puts Phebus’ and Esmerelda’s hands together – that’s a moment reminiscent of Gurgi at the end of The Black Cauldron.

Political Agenda: Even ugly people can be good. But for crying out loud, they don’t deserve to be in a relationship. Don’t lock your children in the attic! That’s mean!

Competition at the time: Beavis and Butt-Head Do America, Space Jam.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A sequel. A SEQUEL!

Verdict: While this movie is considerably darker than anything Disney had done in a decade, considering the source material, it is not dark enough. How can they possibly adapt Victor Hugo’s novel into a cartoon for kids? They can’t. It IS dark for a kids movie, though. For instance, that creepy moment as Frollo sniffs Esmerelda’s hair. The Latin choir. A thrilling final battle. Gothic set pieces. It’s all slightly more bad ass than previous Disney movies.

They do a good job of making Quasimodo look both hideous and cute. And for once, the gargoyles actually talk to Quasimodo. The scene when Quasimodo and Frollo are running through the alphabet is a wonderful bit of dark humor. The movie doesn’t shy away from emotionally devastating scenes – like the moment when Quasimodo sees Esmerelda and Phoebus kiss.

On its own terms, The Hunchback of Notre Dame is an excellent movie. Visually, it’s stunning. It has real emotional heft and serious stakes. The action builds. The relationships are well formed. It really is a terrific bit of movie-making. It’s just so hard to separate it from its source material.

A note: Up to this point, there have been a lot of orphaned Disney heroes and heroines. Also a lot of single parents. But the fates of these missing parents ha not been addressed very much. Only in Cinderella so far. Here, we see Quasimodo’s mother get murdered. For many of the remaining Disney movies, the deaths of the parents are addressed head on.

HERCULES

Film: So all that realism that Disney had been striving for with its style for so long, someone sat back and said “Fuck it.” After the darkness of Hunchback, Disney swayed drastically in the other direction and made this out and out comedy.

Plot: Jesus escapes from the planet Krypton. He goes on a great journey becomes a movie star!

Nature of Villain’s Death: The Villain is immortal. And yet, he gets pulled into some drain of eternal circling death. Does that count as dead?

Nature of Songs: Gospel-inspired and exposition-heavy. The big Oscar song was an Oprah ballad about following your heart.

My Favorite Moment: James Woods. His voice work as the Villain Hades is excellent. Every scene with him is gold.

There’s one throw-away moment that typical of the humor in this thing. One of Hades’ henchmen tries to brush off the idea that Hercules is still alive. He offers up, “Remember a few years ago, when all the boys were named Jason. And all the girls were Brittany.”

Some sly adult humor. As Hercules and Meg end their date, Hercules remarks, “That play. That Oedipus thing. I thought I had problems.”

For some reason, I like the moment when the monster screams, “Zeus!” as it lumbers towards Olypmus.

And my most favorite moment in the movie . . . it’s tiny, but I love it. Hercules has no powers. He’s been beaten mercilessly. Danny Devito reminds him of his dreams. Hercules responds “Dreams are for rookies” as he glares at Meg with bruised eyes. That tiny moment is awesome and totally reminds me of a consuming resentment and cynicism all aimed at a single person who has betrayed you. To get a wee bit personal, I completely recognize a moment in my own life in that tiny moment.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Dany DeVito’s atonal song “One Last Hope”. Actually, everything with Danny Devito is rough.

Also, Meg’s retarded line near the end: “People always do crazy things . . when they’re in love.” Yuck! To quote a few Disney movies of the seventies, “sissy stuff.”

Political Agenda: This movie seems more apolitical than the others, but if it is about anything, it’s religion. Granted, there aren’t a lot of people who take Zeus and his gang seriously these days, but there are many who take the afterlife seriously.

So, taking for granted that Mount Olympus and Hades are stand-ins for Heaven and Hell, there are many ways to interpret the action of the movie. For myself, I find it significant that Hercules goes to hell and back and changes the rules. It’s all supposed to be set in stone. Things are a certain way. This is the way of the Gods. But Hercules won’t have it.

And THEN, he rejects Heaven for Earth. His Heavenly reward. Regardless of his initial motives, he ultimately does the right thing - not for a divine reward, but because he knows it’s the right thing to do.

Competition at the time: Anastasia, A Goofy Movie!

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A “midquel” series with a “miquel” movie. So a midquel to a midquel. Reading the wikipedia entry gave me a headache.

Verdict: The formula was in full effect. Every beat of this movie is overly familiar. Awkward kid goes on a journey and finds his place in the world. But this movie is so unabashedly a quest for glory and fame – I kind of like that. It doesn’t pretend to be about something wholesome and proper (like love – blech).

I like how the monsters are animated. The way they lumber and flail.

There is plenty here that reminds me of previous Disney movies. There are a lot of similarities to The Little Mermaid. Particularly in the two powerful forces using the child to fight for the fate of the planet. The three fates feel like anti-Sleeping Beauty fairies. And there is a literal Deus ex Machina in Hercules’ becoming immortal at the very last moment. Despite this, I like the ridiculously over-the-top final moments, as a constellation appears in the sky depicting Hercules.

But much is new and different. The tone is set when the sassy chorus cuts off Charlton Heston’s austere narration. Meg is a much darker, less pure, more complex female lead than we had before. “Thanks for everything Herc. It’s been a real slice.”

There are numerous plot holes. Why did none of the gods contact Hercules in all this time? And let him know what needed to be done? But to ask these questions is useless. The movie is about attitude. It is truly fun. It outdoes Aladdin in its anachronistic references. I think I like this movie. There aren’t any big moments that pull me in, but in the end, I still enjoyed myself. Disney began to grow bolder and more irreverent – despite clinging tightly to the story formula.

MULAN

Film: More of Disney’s politically correct formula movies. Arabs, Native Americans, now Asians. What’s next? Blacks?

Plot: Just One of the Guys redux.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Blown up by firecrackers. Deliberately!

Nature of Songs: Sparse, with a tinge of the orient. All of them reinforcing gender roles for both men and women.

My Favorite Moment: That shot of the Huns coming over the snow-covered mountain is incredible. I’m going with that scene.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Almost all the songs are cringe-worthy. So dogmatic in their commitment to women being women and men being men. I know that’s the point. After all, everyone is going to learn a little something, but still . . . jeesh.

I also really hate the “Your worst nightmare.” reference. Which is filtered somehow through Batman from Rambo. Odd.

I hate the moment at the end when a nation bows before Mulan as the music swells. But that pails next to the awful dance party at the end. Make it stop!

Political Agenda: It’s more up front and center than usual. To challenges women’s role in society. But in doing so, it becomes very pro-war. One man can make a difference between victory and defense. “Men will gladly go to war for you.” “Sign me up for the next war!”

War is a place to find glory. To become famous. And it’s all so sanitzed in this movie. When they come upon a destroyed village, there’s plenty of destroyed architecture, but there’s no dead bodies.

Competition at the time: Antz, A Bug’s Life.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A sequel.

Verdict: Aside from glorifying war shamelessly, this movie is riddled with plot holes that bugged. Why give a fake name to the officer? Isn’t she there to take her father’s place? To bring glory to his name? What am I missing?

Thanks to all the extreme masculinization of everything, the cross-dressing pay off at the end (the inversion of the “Be a Man” theme) is kind of awesome. Even if it wasn’t really the best way to proceed.

But really, the biggest problem with the movie is the love story. It should be gayer.

TARZAN

Film: Disney continues their search for classic stories to rape.

Plot: There’s a nut in the woods. More nuts show up on a boat. There’s some sexual tension. Gorillas beat their chest. There are some family issues. People learn some values.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Falls through vines and hangs himself. The shot is awesome. The machete plunges into the ground. Lighting throws the shadow of his hanging corpse (off screen) on a tree. It’s very dramatic and awesome.

Nature of Songs: Phil Collins songs about hearts and love and family and crap. Lots of banging away at a xylophone. All played over montages. MONTAGE!

My Favorite Moment: Tarzan, dressed in a suite, exits the tree house – causing his gorilla mother to cry. That was kind of sad.

I also really like when Tarzan imitates the sound of a gun during fight at end. It disorienting. But clever.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Every time Phil Collins opens his mouth.

Political Agenda: Even those who are different are family. Blah blah blah.

Patriarchal values are challenged. But only slightly. It is Kerchak (the daddy gorilla) who learns the meaning of family. Apparently Tarzan was on top of this all along.

Competition at the time: The Iron Giant, South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A series, a midquel movie for the series, and a sequel. And a Broadway play. They mined this one pretty dry.

Verdict: Mostly, it passable as entertainment, but never very engaging. The dramatic opening is completely undercut by a Phil Collins song. And the entire rest of the movie follows this pattern. When the apes first talk, it’s disconcerting. Especially since they had been grunting and making ape sounds previously.

Looking at Tarzan makes me feel fat. Body image issues.

In many ways, it is the opposite of The Jungle Book. Tarzan has a curiosity about man that the animals don’t foster, yet in the end, he still chooses to stay with the family that raised him. It is Jane and her father that give up civilization to be with him.

At one point, Jane’s father supposes that Tarzan is the missing link. Um, excuse me?

Things come together in the final act nicely, but the depiction of the gorillas is impossible to endure. Rosie O’Donnell’s aggressive voice work. Finding an uneasy middle ground between speaking perfect English and grunting. This movie felt like Disney was operating on automatic.

FANTASIA 2000

Film: According to Steve Martin, Walt Disney originally imagined Fantasia as an ever-evolving film. It would be constantly re-released with new parts inserted next to classic sequences. It only took sixty years, but they finally got around to fulfilling that dream – in a half-assed fashion.

Plot: Musicians play music. Shit happens.

Nature of Villain’s Death: N/A

Nature of Songs: Classical music, and some more modern classical music.

My Favorite Moment: The “Rhapsody in Blue” section. It’s got an engaging story and stylish animation. It’s all about strangers and loneliness in Manhattan.

Also the final segment is beautiful as well. The moment when the fire demon awakes is one of the best fusions of music and image in the movie.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: The introductions between each segment. Steve Martin, Penn and Teller, Smokey Robinson, Bette Midler, James Earl Jones, and Angela Lansbury, who is the only one that doesn’t embarrass herself.

Political Agenda: The “Pomp and Circumstance” segment depicts the story of Noah’s Ark. Is this reaction to the “Rites of Spring” section of the first Fantasia? Rather than a story that would surely raise a few Christian eyebrows, Disney goes for a story of Christian mythology. The joke depicting dragons and unicorns and griffins laughing can be interpreted as either a nod to the absurdity of the story, or a reinforcement of the purpose of the story.

Competition at the time: Dinosaur.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: There have been no new Fantasia movies.

Verdict: The whole thing feels pretty slight – which is only emphasized by the short running length of the movie. The animation of “The Steadfast Soldier” is great – perhaps the most beautiful in a movie that looks great all the way through. Despite this, the movie lacks any heft. “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” is repeated in the spirit of the original plan for Fantasia. Instead it illustrates how weak the modern stuff is.

There is no thematic structure tying it together like with the first. Almost all the sequences in the original followed a similar pattern of chaos and order. All these segments are on an even keel. There’s little drama or emotion or action. It looks nice, but it is completely negligible.

DINOSAUR

Film: My intention was to watch all the hand drawn animated Disney movies before their newest came out. I had forgotten that this particular movie is actually CGIed. Computer generated dinosaurs against (supposedly) real backgrounds. Originally, the plan was that the dinosaurs would not have ridiculous cartoony voices. Somewhere along the way, that plan got scrapped.

Disclamer: I watched part of this with the sound effects-only track – essentially creating the no dialogue or score environment originally planned. Half way through I switched over to the full soundtrack cause I got tired of watching dinosaurs move their mouths and remain silent. It was weird.

Plot: There’s these dinosaurs. An asteroid hits the planet. Shit goes down, but the dinosaurs go on a long hike and everything is fine and life goes on and the dinosaurs live forever and ever and ever.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Falls off a cliff.

Nature of Songs: The third animated Disney feature to go sans a single song.

My Favorite Moment: The opening five minutes (which was used as an extended trailer) is pretty cool. But the coolest part is the destruction of the world by Meteor. Technically, it’s not the whole world, but it’s enough of the world to look really cool. A ball of fire spilling across the ocean – consuming an island in the middle of the night. Awesome.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: When the monkeys first begin to speak. Ew.

Political Agenda: First off, this movie is full of dinosaurs. These days, that’s practically a political agenda in itself. And then a meteor strikes the Earth. A meteor?! Dinosaurs? What is this, science class? But beyond that, this movie is SOCIALIST. Socialist, socialist, socialist.

As the herd (made up of various types of dinosaurs) makes it way to a promised land, there is a lot of debate about how to handle the slower and older dinosaurs. Aladar insists on helping them and allowing them to catch up. The lead dinosaurs balk at the idea of letting the weak set the pace. If a predator catches you, you’re on your own. It is a little funny to be subverting the “survival of the fittest” with dinosaurs. The leader takes the water from the “weak” that discovered it and found it. But Aladar, our hero, stands up for the old and weaker dinosaurs. Eventually, he suggests they stand together against a predator. Socialist indeed. As he challenges the predator, he literally starts out as one voice, and is soon joined by everyone. Dinosaurs, unite!

In the end, the dinosaurs find the promised land. There is marriage and babies. Life goes on and the dinosaurs never died out. WHAT?!

As with Tarzan, there seems to be a pro-adoption agenda.

Competition at the time: The Emperor’s New Groove.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: They turned a pre-existing amusement park ride into a Dinosaur-themed amusement park ride.

Verdict: The backgrounds look realistic, but they don’t look believable. There’s a postcard quality to them. The movie does not look all that great nine years later. The CGI is obvious CGI. Watching this movie only reinforces how I felt going into this project: I like hand drawn traditional animation. While computer animation has continued to grow more and more impressive, there is something truly awe-inspiring about hand drawn cartoons.

THE EMPEROR’S NEW GROOVE

Film: Disney, clearly tired of their own formula, did something a little more original and made an out and out comedy about a jerk. Apparently, it originally was planned to be a very different story. A more dramatic take on The Prince and the Pauper. After a very troubled pre-production, the writers arrived at this story: a comic buddy picture.

Plot: Jerk emperor gets turned into Llama by Eartha Kitt. John Goodman babysits. Wacky chases ensue. Repeat.

Nature of Villain’s Death: Doomed to live life as a cat in the Junior Woodchucks.

Nature of Songs: Only one song that’s a riff on Tom Jones cheesiness.

My Favorite Moment: The top two gags: When Spade sees a fly (“Help me!”) get killed by a spider. “Okay. That was the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

When Kitt threatens to raise her dress, Spade and Goodman rear back in horror. She reveals a dagger tied to her thigh and they breath a sigh of relief.

Most Cringe-Inducing Moment: Goodman’s kids. They lose their teeth and have fun checking their height. Ugh. For a moment, there’s too much time spent with Goodman and his family, but it’s kind of saved when David Spade’s character freezes the action, circles himself on the screen and crosses out Goodman.

Political Agenda: The movie is against rich people being jerks. The emperor is rich. He’s inconsiderate. He wants to displace villagers for his fancy new mansion. But in the end, he learns that people are people, too.

Competition at the time: Chicken Run.

How Has Disney Raped the Legacy of this Movie: A sequel and a series.

Verdict: This movie is similar to both Hercules and Aladdin in its irreverent attitude and light touch, but it goes that extra step further and ditches all pretense of telling a classic story. This movie feels entirely modern – even down to its slightly fractured timeline, cut away gags, and cynical approach.

Unlike any Disney film before, the main character is a huge jerk. He is not some sweet fish out of water waiting to find his place in the world. He has dominated his lace in the world – and the places of all those around him. He is mocking and cruel and hilarious. Even his redeems himself, it is on his own terms.

The action isn’t just manic for manic’s sake. It is clever and energetic and sly. It has the pacing of a Looney Tunes cartoon – slowing down just enough for some nicely played character moments. A definite success. By aiming lower, Disney hit it out of the park. I don’t think anybody went to see it in theaters though.