Point Pleasant

Point Pleasant

A supernatural teen soap that aired on FOX in 2005. It was created, written and produced by Buffy alum, Marti Noxon.

The Set-Up: A girl named Christina washes up on the shore of Point Pleasant, a beach town dominated by a self-obsessed clique of hot teens (played by people in their late twenties) and their equally obnoxious parents. The teens are subsequently met with forces who insist they all have jobs to do, but the teens would rather not disrupt their schedule of flirting, whining, and preening. It turns out Christina is evil personified, or to quote Veronica Mars, “Rosemary’s Baby: The Teen Years.” Lots of metaphors for the trials of adolescence ensue.

Evil Grant Show arrives in town to “turn her” and repeat the same bits of exposition over and over again. “She’s the child of Darkness. She’s the child of Darkness. She’s the child of Darkness.” Everyone gets mad at each other, then make up, then get mad again. Eventually everyone tries to kill each other.

Typical episode: In the first half of the run, episodes generally deal with Christina’s effect on this small clique. She acts innocent, but when someone gets between her and sexy lifeguard Jesse at a beach party or a pool, she segues into evil mode by locking her arms to her side and staring forward very, very hard. Then something totally evil happens. Usually involving fire. A few bits of exposition are repeated ad infinitum:

• Christina is Satan’s daughter.
  
• Grant Show works for Christina’s father.
  
• Jesse is the “chosen one.”
  
• Paula is jealous of Christina.
  
• Mrs. Kramer is not crazy!
  
• The Kramer’s oldest daughter died two years ago.
  
• Christina has a job to do.
  
• Grant Show has a job to do.
  
• Jesse has a job to do.
  
• Even Terry has a job to do.
  

Reviewing all this over and over again nearly takes up the full forty minutes of each episode. I can only assume the writers thought their audience might be falling asleep (guilty!) and will need to be reminded of the point of the show every few minutes. This is often accompanied by dudes taking off their shirts.

As the “plot” progresses, more and more supernatural shit hits the fan. This deters no one from repeating the same exposition over and over again.

Typical dialogue: “How can I believe anything you say? You’re the Devil’s kid, right?”

More dialogue: “I told you what we’re up against: Boyd, Jesse, the soldiers from the Vatican!”

More dialogue: “You were built for a fight, but not with me . . . with the anti-Christ!”

My favorite dialogue: Grant Show actually has the balls to ask another character, “Whatever happened to subtlety?”

My favorite episodes:
There are no episodes I can say were actually any good, but if I had to pick some with redeemable qualities, they would be:

• 1.5: “The Last Dance” Lost-style, we see flashbacks of Grant Show’s character and learn that back in 1935, he was just as youthful and pretty as he is today!!! Whoa! This episode is super graphic. Some clandestine sodomy. A chick showers in blood! And guest star Aaron Paul gets to be a little manic. Aaron Paul then reminds us that Mrs. Karmer’s daughter died two years ago and something about his not being over it. Don’t worry, dude. In this town, no one is.
  
• 1.9: “Waking the Dead” This episode never aired. Christina magically brings a dead priest back to life. When the zombie-like priest grabs Christina’s friend, Judy, and drags her into the woods, the dead priest says, “I didn’t mean to scare you.” Judy replies, “Then you should have written me a letter from wherever you were!” Aaron Paul shows up and acts drunkenly jealous. Christina does something evil, then Jesse does something heroic and reviews what he did for the audience, “Did I just kill that guy!?”
  
• 1.13: “Let the War Commence” My favorite part -- Christina magically forces the Kramers to lock their hands together and say grace. Easily the funniest moment on the show. Here, the church is depicted as a nutty vengeance-obsessed cult. And on a show like this, that means they are pretty fucking nutty. And Jesse dies! Oops, spoiler warning by the way. At one point, Terry tells a girl, “This whole thing was hotter when you were Jesse’s girl.”
  

Least Favorite:
So many to choose from. The most unredeemable:

• 1.4 “The Lonely Hunter” Grant Show throws an evil dinner party. He has some esoteric plan that seems to be working perfectly, but fuck if I ever figure out what it is.
  

How many episodes were produced? 13. Only eight aired.

Is there much continuity? Yes. And it is brought to the audience’s attention over and over and over again.

Why was it canceled? It sucked. But to be fair, it was advertised as a gothic mystery show, and it really only became that after it was canceled. The first few episodes dwelled too much in sappy teen soap. Still, it sucked.

Was there closure? It arrives at a conclusion. It doesn’t just stop, but obviously, the last episode was meant to send the series in a new direction. The ending is a beginning.

Any unattended issues? I don’t think they ever say who Jesse’s father was. He saw his birth certificate, but I’m unclear if Jesse knows who his father is or not. I suspect I was meant to think his father is . . . the Lord. But I may have not been paying attention when they said. If the show had continued, he probably would have come back from the dead.

And then there’s that whole thing at the end when Christina escapes to presumably take over the world. Some might count that as unresolved.

The verdict: Surely this was supposed to be a satire of teen soaps like 90210 or The O.C., but it is played so straight. It is rarely dramatic. Characters show up wherever the plot requires them – even if there is no reason for them to. Everyone argues in circles. And the acting is terrible! Only Susan Walters as the emotionally fragile mother is any good at all, and once she realizes she’s not crazy and becomes empowered, she’s just as obnoxious as everyone else.

The symbolism is out of control. The girls would be hotter if they weren’t so blasted vapid. The characters have no personality. And the show lacks the stylish dread that Carnivale had, but portends all the gravity. All in all, a poor purchase on my part.

I have been reminded that there were other issues never fully answered. There is a mysterious light house that gives off a beam of pure goodness in one episode and is never explained. And for two years, Mr. Kramer has been receiving a mysterious tape of his daughter claiming she knows she is going to die. We never learn where the tape is coming from, although it is strongly suggested by the dead daughter. We never find out why she died.

I feel like this show was reaching for Twin Peaks-style camp, but was too afraid of alienating a teen audience to fully embrace Lynchian madness.